Revelations and Heartache
by CarlisleandBella2
Summary: This is a story about Bella and Carlisle after the Cullens leave Forks,and they discover they have feelings for eachother
1. Chapter 1

_Hi-first try at this-so please review! This is a T rating, but will be M in later chapters. Unusual pairing of characters(Bella and Carlisle)-what would happen if they both were available,... trying to keep as much true to Twilight as possible. Obviously just for readers pleasure-no infringement intended. (PS what is a lemon)_

Chapter One: Heartache

It was two months since that fateful day in the woods when Edward left me. Needless to say, I was devastated and some days seemed too much to bear. So many questions; why did he leave me? (well I had at least 100 theories, all based on the fact that I was not good enough for him). A related question, almost equally painful-why did the whole Cullen family leave? I thought I was an integral part of their family? This was just another complete blow to my entire sense of self. They could at the very least check in on me.

The Cullen family had left their home almost intact, furniture and all. They certainly could afford to keep as many homes as they wished on the off chance that they needed to return. I was a bit ashamed of myself, but after about one month of mourning, I found myself drawn to their home-the home in which I had spent so many happy hours. I found an entryway into the home. (actually, I had been given a key that no one remembered to take from me). It might seem self-destructive, but I did return to the home at least twice a week. At first, I spent hours in Edward's room, looking through left-over books and music, and yes, to curl up with a shirt that he had left behind, which was rapidly losing his scent……

I was spending more time with Jacob, and although I knew that this time was more restorative to my health, I still had the immense pull to the Cullen home. How sick was that? As time went on, I closed the door to Edward's room and it no longer drew me in. I spent more time in the living room torturing myself by repeatedly watching "Romeo and Juliet". I mostly told Charlie that I was sleeping over at Angela's house or was visiting Jacob, and he happily accepted my lies. I still suffered the horrendous nightmares, whether I was home or at the Cullen house. It didn't seem to matter, because no one could help me anyway. In fact, I knew that I was keeping Charlie up at night with my blood curdling screams of terror.

Mostly I watched TV or did homework at the Cullen house. I discovered another activity which, although I found embarrassing, seemed to help ease some of the pain and anxiety, namely "self exploration". I found that by pleasuring myself while imagining Edward making love to me was exciting and tension easing, but not really satisfying. As the arc of orgasm overtook me, I would scream "Edward!" to the empty room. As time went on, I was having a harder and harder time visualizing Edward making love to me, and ultimately stopped my "activities" (Oddly, one time I had a flash of Carlisle's face at the point of climax, which made me feel more embarrassed and confused) The only sensual tie to Carlisle that I could think of was a brief exchange of glances we shared after my fateful birthday party which ruined everything I held dear. At some point while Carlisle was removing shattered glass from my arm, we had an odd moment when our eyes locked. There was a strange almost longing expression emanating from his usual peaceful amber colored eyes. His eyes had quickly changed to a bottomless black color (the color of Edward's eyes when he needed to hunt or when he desired me). I also had a very unusual feeling in the pit of my stomach at the time, which I attributed to the sight of my own blood. I attributed his change in eye color to be the result of the horror of the attack by Jasper, or his Carlisle's attraction to my copiously spilling blood. Nonetheless, I was disturbed by the intrusion of Carlisle's face at my most intimate moment. Did it mean anything?


	2. Chapter 2

The Visit

I decided to head over to the Cullen's house on Friday night. The cover story was a sleepover at Angela's. I made myself a snack and sat to channel surf some stupid TV. I suddenly heard rustling in the yard and felt a wave of panic: was Victoria back for me? Not to be a drama queen, but it did cross my mind that she would be doing me a favor by just taking my life for once and for all. I stayed very still, mostly because I knew that I could not outrun her. I saw a blur of color in the kitchen and found myself faced with a vampire that I didn't expect-Carlisle! He was as fabulously gorgeous as usual; golden hair uncharacteristically unkempt, a black shirt which hugged tightly all the stone god-like muscles in his chest, and jeans that emphasized his muscularly fit body. This was not the usual button-down shirts, ties and dress pants. Before I could really take all this in, I screamed "Carlisle" and bolted across the length of the room to embrace him. A shock wave of surprise covered his face as well; "Bella?" he asked quizzically, "what are you…?" "Carlisle is it really you? I'm sorry, I just…I just come here sometimes." I stammered. My turn for questions: "Carlisle, what are you doing back; umm well, I know it's your house and all, but I, I thought you all had left forever?" With that, I burst into tears, huge sobbing tears that wracked my body. The strength with which I held him could have hurt a mortal. He clung to me so hard that it knocked the wind out of me. We held onto each other like our lives depended on it. My sloppy tears stained his shirt, and as was my habit, I apologized. Carlisle pulled away enough so that he could study my face while not breaking our bond. "My dear Isabella, I am so sorry, I never thought that you would still be in such pain after Edward, umm, he umm" Carlisle cut his comment short as to not further enflame my emotions. "You are still as beautiful as ever, but you look so fragile-I had no idea the extent of heartbreak you've endured, I am so, so sorry." I unexpectedly blushed through the tears because he had called me beautiful. "Let's sit down, I am afraid you are going to faint" he said. Carlisle had always been the consummate caretaker of his family, his patients. "We have so much to talk about, I am so happy to see you, Bella." We sat on the couch and I felt so secure next to him even though we were not touching, I could feel the coolness of his skin, his fragrant breath, so much like his son.

"Edward…?" I asked weakly. "Bella, I have not seen Edward since he left Forks." Carlisle looked wistful after this statement and said "there is a lot for us to catch up on, and not all good."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Catching up

Once we were comfortably seated, I suddenly felt completely exhausted; the result of lack of sleep and the abrupt entrance of a Cullen family back in my life. Carlisle was quite aware that I was close to my wits end, and he reached over and easily pulled me against his body for support. I knew that I shouldn't be so aware of his taut, muscular body-but I was. He quietly stroked my hair and kept me close until I was calmer. "Carlisle, why are you back? Where are the others? What is it that you are not telling me?"

"Oh Bella, I am here because I need to get away from my family and all the complications" he gently took my face in his hands so that he could look deeply in my eyes. "The only members of my family left in our home in Washington are Emmett and Rosalie", he went on to explain: "Jasper felt so guilty after he nearly killed you at your birthday party, that he banished himself to Alaska, and of course Alice joined him." We forgave him, and convinced him that he couldn't have changed Edward's resolve to protect you by leaving you. "WHAT?" I exclaimed, "Are you saying that Edward left to PROTECT me?"

Carlisle's jaw clenched. I could tell that he was furious, but he prided himself on keeping his cool. "What did Edward say to you when he left?" he demanded. "I suspect that he didn't tell you the truth." It was my turn to shake with anger at the deception. "He told me that I don't belong in your world, that I am not good for him and that he was sorry to string me along" I murmured angrily. Carlisle rose to his feet, and swiftly drew me off the couch to stand next to him. He held my face between his elegant cold hands. "Bella, you are good enough, better than enough-you have brought the best out in all of us, you...well you reassured me about the existence of my soul when I needed it most" Carlisle dropped his handsome face onto my shoulder. "If I knew what knew what you were going through, if I had just known what my son did to our precious Bella, I would have come back. We all thought that you would be fine…"

"Carlisle, it's fine, I'm OK." I lied. "No it's not" he hissed and grabbed a vase off the table with Vampire speed and threw it through the large kitchen window.

After Carlisle calmed down I asked carefully: "You said that there was a lot to catch up on, and the only

person you haven't mentioned is Esme-is she OK?" I immediately knew that I had hit a nerve. Carlisle's

magnificent features froze for a moment as he looked into space. "Esme has left me" he stated quietly. "We were staying in Tanya's coven for quite awhile after leaving Forks, and she and Tanya, well, became involved" he explained. "Do you mean involved, involved? I am confused, you two are so in love, and I thought that once Vampires bonded that it was very rare to change mates" I regretted my barrage of questions immediately, "I'm sorry, it's not my business" I stammered. Carlisle smiled at me with his sparkling white teeth, "Yes, you are family. You should know the truth. I was very surprised myself, but I think that Esme was so young when I turned her that she had not yet fully developed her sexual identity. I became aware that although she loves me greatly, there were, well, some issues in the bedroom. I guess I assumed that I simply wasn't attractive to her" he murmured almost inaudibly. At this point at had a compelling urge to interrupt and tell him how damn attractive he is. "I'm not angry, because I know that she has to follow her heart, and that she would never intentionally hurt me or my family. I am very lonely and I miss her terribly, but in time I hope that we can come together as good friends" Carlisle's words sounded very rational and resolute, but I heard a telltale hitch in his voice when he mentioned Esme's name. He paced as he explained the situation, and I really wanted to embrace him and try to take some hurt away. "Well, I guess we are lonely souls, together. I have accepted an offer to return to the Forks Hospital. Please know that you will always be welcome here and, in fact, I would love for you to stay with me Bella." The thought of staying with Carlisle made me ridiculously happy, and I felt a creeping sense of guilt because of Edward. The other revelation I had was that I was furious with Edward and his deception, and it felt good to be angry. One more extremely surprising revelation was that I hadn't noticed until now that Carlisle was unbelievably handsome and sexy. I had always known that he was good looking, but I had looked at him in the context of a future father-law.

I blushed like a school girl. If only I could show him how fabulously sexy he was….


	4. Chapter 4

Unexpected

The next few weeks were magical. I went to the Cullen's (Carlisle's) house after school to do homework, and on Friday nights I stayed over in Alice's old room. Carlisle and I enjoyed each other's company (well I sure did.) When he had time he took me out for fancy dinners followed by classical concerts. I helped him lighten up by taking him to light romantic comedies. Although I didn't like this genre, I loved taking sidelong glances at him when he laughed. His lips had a fascinating curl when he smiled, and his teeth were gleaming white (fascinating to think about their lethality). It was so easy and relaxed to be with him, and we spoke of many things (with the understanding that certain topics remained taboo)

When Carlisle was at work I spent time in his study, exploring his paintings and artifacts in detail as well as photos and paintings of Carlisle spanning the centuries. What a rush! The idea that he had lived through so many events in history intensified my attraction to him. I equated his "old" age (although he was turned at age 25) with deep experience and maturity. I blushed when I thought of all the experience and technique he must have picked up in the art of love making. This of course compelled me to pleasure myself all the more, and now it was always Carlisle's which drove my passion. I had to admit that I was developing increasingly strong feelings for my former boyfriend's father.

One Friday afternoon I was feeling particularly bold and lustful and I went to Carlisle's room and selected one of his crisp blue work shirts. It certainly looked better on him, with his almost silvery blonde hair and golden eyes. It comforted me and made me feel sexy, especially since I was only wearing my underpants underneath. As evening approached I made myself a frozen pizza. Carlisle was thoughtful enough to always keep the refrigerator stocked, despite his lack of need to eat. I curled up on the couch to catch up a silly reality show, when I heard Carlisle's car in the driveway. I froze. At this point it would be very suspicious if I made a run for it, and if I tried Carlisle would beat me to my destination. I ducked under a blanket next to me and tried to look nonchalant. I caught a look of a reflection of Carlisle in the window as he entered. He looked tired and was absent mindedly yanking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. He was so beautiful- his body was so tall, muscular and looked stronger and manlier than Edward. Carlisle's profile was so regal; strong forehead, aquiline nose and full lips. All this paired with his honey gold eyes and silvery blonde hair took my breath away. Great, I thought, now he'll catch me in his shirt and notice my ragged breathing. He turned and said "Hello Bella" in his silky voice, "sorry if I startled you, I was able to leave the hospital early". "Hello Carlisle, don't worry, you didn't" I said. Oh great I thought, it's not only the breathing, I smell like a woman aroused. And, yes, here comes my famous blush! Sure enough, I didn't get away with it. Carlisle's vampire senses combined with his medical training led him right to my side. "Bella, my dear, what's wrong, are you sick?" he softly questioned. He leaned down and pressed his cool lips to my forehead. This was his old-fashioned way of quickly assessing temperature, and it was making mine spike. "You are warm, and your heart is racing" he said as he gently removed the blanket. He looked surprised at my attire, and I knew at this point that he had more than concern for me-he found me sexy. I couldn't help notice that his eyes were scanning the length of me and turned from gentle ochre to pitch black. There was an expression on his face which resembled that of the look of Edward's when he wanted to make love to me, but couldn't trust himself. I began my foolish stammering again: "Carlisle, I didn't expect you, and well, I borrowed your shirt and I feel really awkward now." "Bella, you look beautiful in that shirt, and you never have to ask for the use of my belongings" With that he closed the gap between us effortlessly, and while never taking his eyes off me, took my flushed face between his long graceful fingers. He then lowered his lips to mine, and softly kissed my lips, gently parting them with his tongue. This sent a shockwave through my body. I returned his kiss boldly and slipped my tongue into his lovely mouth. I had no idea how to react and all I was aware of was his sensual stone lips, and the pulsating feeling beginning to emanate between my legs. H

"Bella, do you know how attractive you are to me? I should really feel badly about kissing you, but I don't, and you need to understand that the feelings I have for you are not new, and I am not acting out on my rejection by Esme." We had grown so close in the months we spent together that this felt natural and right. "Carlisle" I began. "No-sorry Bella that wasn't appropriate…Edward" Carlisle lamented.

"No Carlisle, you don't understand. I feel strongly attracted to you, and I am pretty furious about

Edward's actions-I am not sure that I can forgive him" Before I could finish my sentence, Carlisle moved forward again, his breath becoming ragged. "Bella, kiss me!" He effortlessly carried me to the kitchen and when he felt no resistance from me, he effortlessly hiked me up on the table and while holding my waist steadily, he explored my mouth urgently with his mouth, and moved down my pulsating neck with probing lips. By this time I was having trouble with breathing again and I clung onto the back of his neck desperately. He moved his body between my legs, and pressed his god-like chest against me. I couldn't escape if I wanted to. His kisses deepened and became more insistent. He freed one of his hands and slipped it under his/my shirt. His hand roved up my body, leaving goose bumps in their path. He gently cupped a breast, and rubbed his thumb lightly against my nipple. When he felt my nipple harden, he seemed to gain courage and leaned my eager body down onto the table to free up both hands to better explore my naked, anxious flesh. I forgot to breath, he mildly chuckled and leaned over me to kiss my neck. "Isabella, look what you are doing to me, you are so fabulously sexy" he groaned. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant about what I did to him until I felt his erection pushed up against me. "Oh Carlisle, this feels..so…great" I moaned.

Before I knew it he gently lifted me in his hands-carrying me honeymoon style- to his study. All the Cullen's rooms have beds, even though they were unable to sleep. His hand moved purposefully up and down my spine. Oh my god, this can't be happening to me-he wants me- a lot. Carlisle stroked my hair gently as he gently laid me on the bed. "Are you OK-are you sure you want this as much as I do?" he asked in a breathy, trembling voice. "Yes, yes I do, I am sure-but I need you to know one thing. I am still a virgin, I have not anything more than kiss, I am scared and don't have a clue about what comes next." Carlisle broke away a bit to stare at me with those deep, almost frightening black eyes fueled by desire: "What? You and Edward? Nothing?" He asked incredulously. "Nope" I kept simple. "He is very old fashioned and he was always afraid that he could hurt me in a fit of passion" I could swear I heard Carlisle mutter "boy's a fool". "That changes things. I had no idea that I would be your first, and quite frankly that scares me!" "I'll try to be as gentle as I can, but as I think you've heard, the first time (if you want to truly want to make love to me) will hurt a bit, and I must admit that I've never made love to a mortal." "Please" I implored…."Please make love to me Carlisle"


	5. Chapter 5

_**More reviews please-I'd like to see how you want this to go**_

"_What? You and Edward? Nothing?" He asked incredulously. "Nope" I kept simple. "He is very old fashioned and he was always afraid that he could hurt me in a fit of passion" I could swear I heard Carlisle mutter "boy's a fool". "That changes things. I had no idea that I would be your first, and quite frankly that scares me!" "I'll try to be as gentle as I can, but as I think you've heard, the first time (if you want to truly want to make love to me) will hurt a bit, and I must admit that I've never made love to a mortal." "Please" I implored…."Please make love to me Carlisle"_

**Take me:**

I couldn't believe what I just said. It sounded like it was coming out of someone else's mouth. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I missed Edward, my Edward. He appeared in front of me, much as he did when I took life threatening risks. What was I doing? Could Edward know what was happening? Did Alice see it, did Alice tell him? Did he care and leave only to protect me-as Carlisle told me? Edward's face flashed in front of me, boyish, handsome and very sad. "Carlisle" I ventured, my voice no longer as sex starved. "I don't know if I can do this-I am so confused. I am falling in love with you but I feel guilty about Edward and I'm..I'm scared of about what we are about to do"

I braced myself for the worst. I had brought this kind man to the brink of sexual release and stopped. I knew that there was even a word for me and I guess I was the dreaded "CT". I didn't do this on purpose and god knew I wanted Carlisle..

Carlisle moved away with vampire speed and I closed my eyes in a cowardly move not to face him. To my surprise he gently cupped my face in his hands and he wiped away the tears that traveled down my face. "Bella" he whispered "please look at me and tell me that you are OK?" I did as he said and looked at his handsome face, expecting a look of frustration, seeing a gentle look of concern. "I understand, I do think that I moved too quickly for you, and I am worried that I have ruined everything" "Carlisle, I am so sorry I backed out-I can only imagine how frustrated you are" I sobbed silently. "Isabella you have nothing to feel sorry about" he murmured softly into my ear, still holding me, but no longer in a sexual way. "I do need to tell you one thing" he continued, "I love you and no matter what happens, I will always be in love with you. If Edward returns and you are able to mend your relationship, I will stand by your decision because I will always want what's best for you." My heart swelled when I heard that Carlisle loved me! I was willing to wait for the sexual relationship with Carlisle until my head was straightened out. What a lovely man. How did I deserve this unconditional love?


	6. Chapter 6

_WARNING LEMONS_

**One beautiful night**

CPOV

OK-that was difficult, I thought. I had been singularly focused on making love

to Bella. I did the right thing by comforting her and at least. I respected her wish to stop, of course, but

it left me aroused and quite honestly, saddened that she didn't have as strong emotions for me as I did

for her. I wanted her first time to be extremely pleasurable, and safe from the fear of being savaged by

a Vampire. I did feel sympathy for the Bella and Edward and their apparent inability to experience "safe

sex."

I now came face to face with a brand new emotion that I had never experienced; jealousy.

I wanted Bella to choose me over Edward, and it pained me to think that she more than likely was using

me as a substitute for Edward. Based on my experience with humans, I think she was having a very

natural reaction to the deeply painful break with Edward. It pained me to want something

which would likely hurt my son deeply; what kind of monster was I? Even worse, there was a small part

of me which felt special and privileged to take her virginity. My God, what had I become? All I knew is

that I was consumed with my need for Bella-which I simply couldn't help. All I could do was remove

myself from her life so that she could work out her feelings for Edward. The new found knowledge that

Edward left Bella only to protect her was going to take time for her to process. She would have to be

reunited with Edward to truly decide her future. But for now, I needed to make sure she was OK.

Human emotions were so strong and I needed to be there for her. What truly surprised me was the

intensity of my own feelings. I was still holding her small head in my large hands, and I took one more

opportunity to take a mental snapshot of her. I wiped the tears from her pearly white skin with my

thumbs. Her auburn hair was a tousled mess after our "activities", and I reached to smooth it out,

but thought better of it. Her lips were scarlet from our passionate kissing, and there was a bright red

flush on her delicate cheek of embarrassment and sadness all in one. Her beautiful body that I so lusted

for now looked so frail. I don't know yet what damage I have done to her mentally, but one thing I am

sure of is that I will never get over my love for her. This truly meant centuries of loneliness for me, and I

gave myself a moment of self pity. Bella broke away from my grip and moved quickly and silently up the

stairs to Edward's room. I did not follow. I knew better….

BPOV

Carlisle had stopped my descent into mortification, as he gently held my face in his hands. I felt the

usual spark when he brushed away my tears. Did he really love me as much as he professed? I had to

believe him, because I think he is unable to lie. Edward had sure been able to lie…I broke away and

made a bee line to Edward's room. I curled into the fetal position in the big bed that the Cullen's had

purchased for me in happier times. I felt so cold and I couldn't stop shaking and loudly sobbing. The

feelings I was experiencing were hauntingly similar to those when Edward left me. Now Carlisle would

leave, I felt sure of it. "Bella" I heard Carlisle whisper. "Please allow me to enter; I don't want to leave

you alone" I didn't answer, because I knew that he'd come in anyway. He stood in front of me in all his

blonde glory, shining without the benefit of sunlight. I realized that Carlisle always had a beautiful

glowing aura like an angel. "Can I stay with you tonight, no pressure, I just want to be near you and

make sure you are OK?" he murmured. "Please" I responded quietly. He lay by my side and wrapped a

comforter around me, and sang a soft lullaby in French, all the while stoking my hair. The last thought I

had before I succumbed to sleep was "I really love this man." Unbeknownst to me I was uttering

Carlisle's name as I restlessly slept. In the middle of the night I awoke, rolled over and looked at Carlisle.

I was startled to see that Carlisle was intently studying my face with such a look of reverence and love

that it took my breath away. I propped myself up on my elbow and reached over to kiss him gently on

his full lips.

He didn't initially respond, but then leaned forward to meet my lips. He seemed to understand that I

needed and loved him and we both put away the complications of the evening. We kissed each other

hungrily, desperately. Without questioning, Carlisle pulled his shirt over his head and his chiseled chest

shone in the moon light. He turned his attention to me and unbuttoned my shirt and removed my bra.

When my breasts became visible, he gasped and cupped them gently in his hands. We pressed our

bodies as tightly as we could and began to kiss each other frantically. He then kissed each of my breasts

carefully, lovingly, taking each into his mouth. I gripped his soft hair. My nipples instantly hardened and

became tender. I never felt this urgency, even with Edward. That was the only thought I had about

Edward the rest of the night, Carlisle consumed not only my body but my mind.

I was completely on fire from my lips to my feet, and the pressure between my legs was unbearable.

Carlisle made his way down my body with his hands followed closely by his mouth. Neither of us said

much except for constant "I love you" accompanied by low moans. When Carlisle made it to my belly

button, I stiffened with fear, but then thrilled when he gently removed my panties. It felt amazing to

lie naked with him. I wanted to feel his entire naked body. I quickly kissed my way from his broad

chest down all the way to his completely ripped abs. I pulled at the button on his pants and he

helped me remove the rest of his clothing.

His manhood was much larger than anything I read or heard about from my friends and it was totally engorged.

I reached down to explore his shaft as he was sliding his finger into my slit carefully. I arced my back in

rapture. We took our time exploring one another's bodies, and they felt perfectly matched. We clutched

each other's rears and pressed together. His backside was muscular and perfect. Carlisle broke away

and spread my legs widely. He kissed my inner thighs gently before entering me deftly with two fingers

finding the center of my pleasure. He then replaced his fingers with his tongue, making gentle

circles around my clit. He ran his tongue up and down my lips, finally inserting his tongue deep in me.

I felt so close to orgasm that I panicked and tightly grasped his strong shoulders. I began moaning and

crying out when he removed his tongue and gently blew his cool breath on my clit. That was all it took

and I screamed, shuttering and writhing widely. I screamed "Carlisle" over and over again. My orgasm

juices spilled into his mouth and all over the bed. When resumed our frenzied kissing and touching.

Carlisle spread my legs, rolled on top of me and gently nudged his shaft against my lips. It felt absolutely

fabulous. "Carlisle, please let me feel you inside" I gasped. He very gently inserted himself,

pausing to gently break the barrier of my virginity. He must have sensed it stung a bit, so he buried his

beautiful head into my shoulder before moving on. He thrusted himself deeper and deeper into me,

reaching the very core of my being. He flipped me over (all the while staying buried deep inside of me).

I was now on top of him and able to take in the majesty of his face, and the expression of both passion

and deep love. He cupped and kneaded my breasts as I rode him passionately. I was yet again beginning

to orgasm, and flipped my body back like a colt. He must have been squeezed by my contracting,

muscles because he abruptly and wildly called my name. I came at the same time as he did, and I was

sure because I felt his cool juices shoot into my eager body. We flipped to our sides, exhausted,

maintaining our bond. We kissed each other gently, endlessly it seemed, and I was sure that I was seeing

stars. I dropped off to sleep on his shoulder completely spent. I awoke again during the night and we

made love sweetly and carefully, enjoying every precious moment as though it were our last.

I awoke in the morning to the ringing from Carlisle's cell phone. "Yes", he answered in a

whisper. He clearly thought I was still asleep. "Alice, what is it-you saw what?" he asked in an urgent

tone. "Oh no, I'll come back as soon as I can" Carlisle dropped back down on the bed to hold me.

He thinks I didn't hear that. This didn't sound good at all…….


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Alice's Visions

_I awoke again during the night and we made love sweetly and carefully, enjoying every precious moment as though it were our last. I awoke in the morning to the ringing from Carlisle's cell phone. "Yes", he answered in a whisper. He clearly thought I was still asleep. "Alice, what is it-you saw what?" he asked in an urgent tone. "Oh no, I'll come back as soon as I can" dropped back down on the bed to hold me. He thinks I didn't hear that. This didn't sound good at all……._

I was horrified by the quiet conversation. Carlisle knew I was awake, because I was biting

down on my lip. "Bella, my love" Carlisle murmured, "Alice has seen the future, she knows about

our relationship, and believes that Edward may know as well." I had an instant knot in my stomach.

"I must leave to speak with Alice, and get the full story" Carlisle said numbly.

I felt my fury rising, "OK, sure, why don't you leave me as well, your family seems to be talented

at that", I said through gritted teeth. I regretted lashing out at Carlisle immediately, but the feeling

behind the words was had some basis in reality. Carlisle hadn't done anything wrong, in fact, he was

there for me unconditionally when I most needed him. As though he was reading my mind, Carlisle

turned to me, gently stroking my hair and replacing some stray strands "You have to believe me when I

say that everything will work out. You are considered part of my family. I think we all failed you,

however, by assuming as Edward did, that you would be safer without us. Even worse we assumed that

because you are human, your feelings for Edward would fade. I never told you this, but I did come

visit you several times at night after we left, but I didn't recognize the pain you were experiencing, and

for that I will not forgive myself. Quite frankly I tried to stay away as much as I could because I knew that

my love for you was wrong, that you were my son's mate but the urge to see you was so overwhelming.

" I am so worried for Edward" continued Carlisle; "I turned him selfishly for companionship so many

decades ago, and now I have betrayed him. This could devastate him. He never experienced love

before you came into his life. You must promise me that you'll make things work with him. He needs

your love to continue living."

Now my anger was equally directed at Edward and Carlisle. What was it with this family? Were they out

to destroy me? I rolled over and covered myself with the blanket. Carlisle leaned over to embrace me,

but I pummeled him ineffectually with my fists as angry tears covered my face.

Edward nearly killed me when he abandoned me, and now Carlisle was "handing me back"

to Edward. I am not property. I was in hopelessly in love with Carlisle and could not picture a life without

him. He was almost 10 years older than me, and that would give me time to come to peace with my

family and experience college life before I would ask him to turn me. I also knew that Carlisle's love was

forever, and the intensity of my desire to become a vampire was not nearly as strong when I was with

him. When Edward left, he left behind an anxious teenager. What emerged was a grown woman and

I no longer felt that I had to be turned to be loved. I finally came to appreciate that I had a life outside

of Edward's shadow, that I was intelligent and capable, and yes, not unattractive.

I had a series of these rational, sane thoughts about Edward, and then came the reality- I can't wait to

see him again. A rush of old emotions came over me. I'd had pretty much been in love with Edward

since I met him. He was thoughtful, loving (handsome as hell) and he worshiped the ground I walked on.

My love for Edward was primal and it was not something that would go away. The mere thought of

seeing him again sent my pulse through the roof. What the heck was I going to do? There was not a

thing in the world that would allow me to decide between Edward and Carlisle. Nothing rational or

emotional. In summary-I was totally screwed.

Carlisle continued to fuss with my hair, staring off into space. As angry as I was with him, I could

appreciate the turmoil he must be experiencing. "Carlisle" I began. He interrupted. "Bella, I am sorry.

You aren't a possession. I have never experienced anything like this, and I am not sure any human

has either. My love for my son is so pure that this situation is tearing me apart, but I am so in love

with you I can't imagine my life without you. I have said, and would like to believe, that you

should try and patch things up with Edward. I need to be completely honest with you, the truth is

that I want you to pick me". We both knew that this theoretical conversation was getting us nowhere

and that we had to act. It was time to face reality and head off to the new Cullen coven. I informed

Carlisle that there was no way that I would allow him to go to the coven without me.

I rolled over to get up, and realized with embarrassment that I was still naked after the night of

lovemaking. Carlisle had at least been able to throw on his black boxers. I tried to avert my eyes, not

because I was being prudish, but because the sight of his god-like body threw any rational thinking out

the window. I suspected that Carlisle may also be experiencing the same phenomena of ill-timed

arousal. Poised at the end of our bed, he was lost in thought.

"Bella" he said softly, "I know we need to go and face the situation head on, but…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because I had managed to sit up and pull him back into bed.

He obviously didn't resist because he was at least 100 times stronger than me. I desperately

found his lips and began kissing him more aggressively than I ever had before. He began to protest and

get up, but instead sighed and resumed kissing me. We knew that this was not appropriate, but

there was a sense that this could be the last time we made love. Our lovemaking took on a feeling of

desperation, and for some reason, was pretty aggressive. I think we were both angry and frightened by

the situation we found ourselves in. Carlisle quickly lifted me out of the bed, I think because we felt the

need to keep moving. "Carlisle, I panted, I have to take a shower and get dressed before our trip."

He suddenly hefted me over his shoulder and brought me to the bathroom. He set me down only long

enough to pull off his boxers, and I noted that he was fully aroused. The Cullen home had the best

glass enclosed shower. Carlisle got the shower going and put me down next to him under the large, two

person shower head. He began soaping me all over, all the while never removing his mouth from

mine. He soaped my shoulders, breasts, and moved down until he hit my throbbing center. I panted

and hitched one of my legs around his hip. He grabbed my other leg effortlessly and hitched it over his

other hip. He backed me roughly (not with enough to hurt me) against the tile wall. I could see our

reflection in the vanity and saw Carlisle from behind and I again noted the beauty of his

chiseled V-shaped back, and his muscular buttocks. I was shocked when I saw the person staring back at

me. I had the look of a crazed animal. Carlisle moved his head downward and kissed the hollow of my

neck and hitched me up further to suck on my hardened nipples. Next, he deftly lifted me and impaled

me on his rock hard member. I let out a pleasured gasp as we began rocking our fused bodies in unison.

Carlisle made a low primal growl as he reached my core and I started to tremble and writhe in climactic

joy. Luckily Carlisle was holding me up because I lost control over my lower limbs. He

reached climax just moments later and with one last deep thrust he gently lowered me

back onto the shower floor. I was clearly not able to stand yet, and my legs buckled under me.

He gently caught me under my arms and held me close to his body. We clutched each other

and kissed for what felt like an eternity. This might be the last time… I thought sadly.

I sensed that Carlisle was feeling exactly what I was. He became very gentle and tender as

he shampooed my hair. Once out of the shower Carlisle towel dried me thoroughly. We both got

into gear and got dressed. Carlisle pulled on a pair of tan cargo pants and black t-shirt, and I grabbed

a light weight tan colored dress and ran a brush through my hair. I hurriedly packed enough

clothing for a couple of days, and called Charlie with the story that I was headed out for a

girl's weekend with Angela. I suddenly felt unable to choose my clothes, which was not normal

for me, I was not fussy. How does one dress for this occasion –somber-like a funeral? It already

felt like a death. Whether or not Edward still loved me there would be loss. If he no longer loved

me, it would be like rubbing salt into a recently healed wound. If he still loved me, as Carlisle believed,

I would be put in an impossible position. It was time to take the drive to Washington. Carlisle helped

me into his sleek black Mercedes. Before climbing in, Carlisle answered a cell call, and I assumed it was

Alice. Although I could not make out a word, I noted the beautiful velvety voice he sometimes used

to reassure me. We were completely silent for the entire ride. I spent the journey either looking at the

gorgeous landscape flashing past or once in awhile I would look from under my still damp hair at

Carlisle, his strong hands gripping the steering wheel. His expression was stony, his eyes dark and his

full lips pressed together. On a couple of occasions, he would glance over at me and placed

his hand over mine. The trip seemed to go on forever.

Carlisle made a sharp turn onto a remote driveway and simply said "We are here." He sounded

and looked so remote, my fear only intensified. We walked up the gravel driveway to a spectacular

house. It looked larger and more beautiful than their Forks home. I instantly recognized it as a

Frank Lloyd Wright design. Carlisle opened the large glass door, and Alice was already poised inside.

'Oh, Alice" I cried.

Alice was uncharacteristically dressed in rather drab clothes and had her arms crossed defensively.

She quickly changed demeanor when she saw me "Oh Bella", she shrieked and caught me up in a bear

hug and only stopped when she realized that I was unable to breathe, "I missed you so!" She

acknowledged Carlisle with a more restrained embrace. There was tension between them and

some sort of silent conversation going on. I hated when they did this to me. Alice grabbed me by the

hands and held me out in front of her. "Bella you look tired and I will have to change that outfit" she

tweated.

She then seemed to remind herself of the seriousness of the situation. She turned to Carlisle and glared

"what the hell are you thinking?" Carlisle responded slowly; "now Alice.." I interrupted "Alice, why

would you think this is all about Carlisle? I am a grown woman and I have fallen in love with your

father and I there is nothing I could do to help it." Carlisle reflexively took my hand in a gentle,

protective manner. "No, Carlisle, seriously?" Alice's voice got higher and higher "Bella is your son's

mate. I can't believe you are doing this to Edward." Carlisle didn't answer back and suggested that

we head to the kitchen to talk things out. He was being polite, because he and Alice had no need to

sit, but he sensed that I was close to collapse. "Alice, please offer Bella something to eat, it's been a

long ride". Alice made the face she usually makes before sticking out her tongue, but again caught

herself as she remembered why we were all together. "No, Alice, no thanks, I'm not in an eating

mood. Alice-please tell me what's going on? What does Edward know? Where is he? Can I speak

with him?" My questions came sputtering out all at once. "I had a vision of you and Carlisle

becoming mates several weeks back, but the vision was unclear and kept changing. Edward is also

in the vision, and, sorry Carlisle, I see visions of Bella and Edward as mates as well" Alice looked

off into the distance, typical of how she appeared when she had visions. "Alice, how can that be?"

I think I knew the answer, but needed to hear it. "The answer Bella, is that you have not, and may not

be able to make up your mind between Carlisle and Edward", Alice said with a look of sympathy. I

glanced over at Carlisle and his head was hanging down ever so slightly, and there was a look of

great sadness on his face that he was trying to mask. I suddenly felt the huge burden of guilt

and responsibility. This was my fault and anything I did from now on would tear the family

apart. My head sank to my hands. Alice reacted "Bella, I am not blaming you for this. You believed

that Edward abandoned you never to return and that he rejected you. I do think you should

take a look at your relationship with my father (I noted a slight snide use of the word father) in the

context of your loss of Edward. You need to know that Edward is, and always has been desperately

in love with you. Carlisle, I feel that you may have (perhaps unknowingly) taken advantage of Bella"

I heard Carlisle's sharp intake of breath from across the room. Carlisle responded, but with no anger in

his voice "Alice, if you know me well, you know that I would never knowingly hurt Edward or Bella. I am

completely shocked that this happened because as you know, it is exceedingly rare that more than one

vampire form a mating bond to the same vampire.

Esme is an exception, and I feel that the fact that Bella is human may have contributed to this anomaly.

(I shuddered at the word anomaly) Alice, you do have to accept the fact that I fell in love with

Bella almost from the time I met her. I can say with certainty that I didn't take advantage of Bella.

Only Bella can answer whether she has coupled with me as a substitute for Edward. We will

have to face this question head on. Bella and Edward must be reunited." I lifted my head and spoke

strongly " You two speak of me as if I'm not here! I can say with certainty that I didn't fall for Carlisle "on

the rebound, and……"

There was a rustling sound as Edward entered the kitchen. I can't verbalize how I felt when I saw him.

It was almost like seeing someone who had risen from the dead. The room fell silent and the air was

so thick that you could cut it. Everything slowed down and then sped up like a tape being fast

forwarded. "Edward" I gasped. I felt so much emotion, I thought I was going to faint. He was

beautiful, I still adored him, and I wanted to embrace him desperately. "Bella" Edward said with

so much love "You are here, Alice was right" He closed the distance between us and gathered me

in his arms. His familiar fantastic smell hit me and I instinctively stood up on my toes to reach his mouth

and kiss him passionately. His cool lips felt fabulous, and I lost my hands in his beautiful rust colored

hair.

Edward responded in kind and almost crushed me, frantically kissing my lips and neck. I was in a

different world and it seemed like I could see the entire room from above. Carlisle and Alice had

a shocked look on their faces. I noted a flash of complete betrayal on Carlisle's face. Edward

broke from our embrace, and closed the gap between himself and Carlisle with one fluid

step. It was clear from his stance, his black eyes, his low growl and bared teeth that he planned

on killing his own father. I leaped between the two so that any attack would necessitate causing

me tremendous injury. Alice was screaming at Edward "Stop! This is your father!" I couldn't

manage to scream. Carlisle backed up pulling me behind him. "Stop Edward, please let's talk!"

"How the hell could you Carlisle! I trusted you! I can't believe what you did to Bella"

This meant to me that Carlisle was not able to block his thoughts, and that Edward could see

all his thoughts; including our lovemaking. I shuddered and was shaking all over.

"There will be one mate for Bella and it will certainly be me" screamed Edward. I moved away

slowly, as if in a nightmare. I finally found my voice "Damn both of you, I hate you" I sprinted out of

the house. The last thing I heard was Carlisle's voice "Edward, stop, we are killing her, can't you see?"

My feet crossed in front of one another, I lurched to the ground and felt an excruciating pain

as I hit my head on a rock. That's all I remembered as I drifted out of consciousness…


	8. Chapter 8

**OK-My last chapter, and probably last story-that was surprisingly tiring! If you**

**really liked the story, please let me know, and I may get the energy to write **

**more. Thanks for the kind comments.**

**If you want more stories, feel free to let me know if you are interested in any **

**particular plot lines.**

_**Thanks all!**_

"_**There will be one mate for Bella and it will certainly be me" screamed Edward. I moved away **_

_**slowly, as if in a nightmare. I finally found my voice "Damn both of you, I hate you" I sprinted out of **_

_**the house. The last thing I heard was Carlisle's voice "Edward, stop, we are killing her, can't you see?"**_

_**My feet crossed in front of one another, I lurched to the ground and felt an excruciating pain**_

_**as I hit my head on a rock. That's all I remembered as I drifted out of consciousness…**_

I was vaguely aware of someone picking me up and bringing me into the house. I tried to say

something, but I wasn't able. I was peaceful even though I could feel a throbbing pain in my

head. I was fairly sure that my two "mates" Carlisle and Edward would not kill one another

while I was injured. Although I was not able to get up or vocalize, I remember wanting to stay

unconscious as long as possible, in order to delay the inevitable.. I saw a shape of a man pull off

his shirt and apply it quickly to my forehead. Mmm, Carlisle I thought as I formed a mental

picture of him shirtless. I could feel other people hovering around as well; Alice and Edward I guessed.

They were quietly murmuring to one another and I knew they were deeply concerned for my well

being. I still noted an angry edge to Edward's voice. Carlisle's voice had its characteristic melodic

tone which comforted me immediately. I felt myself being lifted and someone laid me down

on something hard; kitchen table? I felt Carlisle remove the shirt from my wound and even

in my semi-conscious state, I felt ill from the smell, and I could tell that I was still bleeding

profusely and had soaked the t-shirt. I heard Carlisle tell the others in a more commanding tone to

leave the kitchen. I could hear Edward protest, but I think he probably gave in because the smell

of my blood was overpowering him. I remembered that the smell would be incredibly hard for

him to resist given that he had not been near me for many months. I heard Carlisle asking

Alice for something, and she scurried off obediently to get whatever it was. The next thing I

remember was the stench of a chemical on my face; iodine? Oh no, I thought, here we go again.

Carlisle began stitching up the hole in my head (how bad was it?) It hurt like heck, and I let out

an involuntary mew. Carlisle leaned over me and kissed me gently on the lips and that helped

a surprising amount. I lost count, but I think there must have been about 20 stitches on my

forehead. I was lifted up yet again, and brought to a new room. I was laid gently on a soft bed, and

Carlisle removed my clothing as gently as possible. I must be drenched in blood and Carlisle

would need to burn my clothes so that the smell of blood wouldn't drive the other two into

a frenzy. Alice came into the room and Carlisle must have asked her to find a robe and with vampire

speed I found myself in a soft terry robe. I ceased to be embarrassed by anything at this point.

Carlisle left the room and then I smelled and sensed Edward's entry into the room.

"Bella" he whispered in my ear "if you can hear me I need to beg your forgiveness. I made the worst

mistake of my very long life when I left you behind. I did it for what I thought were very good

intentions, but I was so misguided and stupid. I have no idea whether you'll ever be able to forgive

me. Carlisle was there for you when I was not. If you choose him, I will respect your decision, and

promise to leave you alone forever". With that, he leaned forward and kissed me. His breath was cool

and tasted like the most exotic spice known to man. I hadn't lost any of my love for this sexy,

passionate man. He pulled himself away because he realized that I was really unconscious.

I lost more hours of the evening in my coma-like state. Once every hour or two, Carlisle would open

my eyes and check my pupils with a flashlight. I knew that it was him, but I couldn't focus on him or

anyone else. I heard Carlisle and Edward arguing, but the tone was much subdued. "Don't you

think she needs a hospital?', Edward pleaded. "No, Edward, there is nothing wrong with her except

for the laceration and a very mild concussion. She should be conscious by now, but I suspect her

mind is protecting her by keeping her in this state. We need to keep her still and calm. For now,

that certainly means not fighting over her"

I could hear Edward murmur in agreement. Alice was in the background, still not able

to keep her thoughts to herself. "I think you both are jerks, come to think about it. You

have both played with Bella's feelings. If it were me, I would leave the both of you behind, and

find someone more mentally stable" The two men ignored her and allowed her to continue her rant.

She stormed off in a huff and I thought I heard Edward and Carlisle laugh quietly. I took that as

a good sign that Edward had rethought his plan to kill his father. I felt deeper into unconsciousness

again. My dreams were extremely vivid and involved both Edward and Carlisle. The only one that

I could remember was horrible. The inability to wake up was tortuous because all I wanted

to do was run away from what I was seeing. The dream began as a happy scene-I could hear the

Cullen's in their old house.

_They were all in the living room and I could hear laughing and joking._

_As I came down the stairs from Edward's bedroom I caught snippets of conversation. "She's so_

_pathetic" I heard Edward say "I had to leave her….so puritanical..clumsy.." Next was Rosalie " yeah-I had _

_no clue why you hung out with her..so plain..so common" Next came Carlisle's voice "Not to worry, _

_son. I convinced her to sleep with me..so ready to agree..so easily seduced.. so easily tossed aside..I did _

_your dirty work for you.. you owe me one" His tone was so nasty, so snide. Everyone was articulating_

_my worst fears. That I really was a family pet and worse than that, they were trying to see who_

_abused the pet the most. "Don't worry Carlisle" Esme joined in "you'll have me in your bed_

_tonight..I can help wash her scent off." Everyone laughed hysterically at the thought of poor_

_Bella. Did she really think that God-Like men such as Edward and Carlisle would ever think of her as _

_more than a silly human joke? I could especially hear Alice's laugh, and thought-even you? I was_

_going to escape, but decided to pull myself together to tell them that the joke was over and _

_that they would never hurt me again. As I entered the room, 7 vampires turned and_

_hissed at me, all with blazing red eyes. They had never planned on letting me go. I closed_

_my eyes as they came at me, teeth gnashing, and growling deeply. I shrieked loudly_

_as it all went black._

My scream was so piercing that it pulled me out of my coma-like state, and

caused both Edward and Carlisle to rush into the room. My eyes flashed wildly around

the room. I was shaking like a leaf and my head felt like someone had it in a vise.

Edward got to me first and pulled me into his arms. He looked so pained that if he were

able, he would have wept. He buried his copper colored head onto my shoulder. I winced

as he accidentally brushed against my stitches. "Carlisle, please tell me she's OK!" he

begged his father. Edward relinquished his hold on me to allow Carlisle to catch me in his arms.

Carlisle pressed his cool lips to my forehead to assess my temperature. "Edward,

Bella is so cold, please go draw a warm bath for her". OK-was I really losing it?

After the worst dream ever, I awoke to the most idyllic and loving reality I could

imagine. Carlisle swept me up in his muscular arms and carried me lovingly

up the stairs to the bathroom. He gave me gentle kisses on my face, carefully

avoiding my wound. When we got to the bathroom, Edward was standing over

the tub, grinning from ear to ear. "Bella my love, you are OK. I love you more than I

can express" The first word that popped into my head was "awkward". I was in the bathroom

alone with my two lovers and they weren't killing one another. Carlisle lowered me to the floor and

Edward gently removed my robe. At this point I was fully naked in front of them. Edward helped me into

the tub as Carlisle left the room. Awkward! Without any words, Edward sensually washed my body.

Despite the pain,I found myself getting extremely aroused. Edward had never seen me without

clothing, and , and yet this seemed so right. Carlisle cleared his throat loudly to warn us of his

entry back into the room. He placed a fragrant herbal tea on the side of the tub. "Now, please drink all

of this, you've had a terrible shock." He left Edward and me alone again. I told Edward of my nightmare

and it caused him to visibly wince in pain. "Oh Bella, how could you ever think that any one of the

Cullen family would view you in that way. We all love you so. Even Rosalie, in her own way" the last

comment brought some amusement to his face and his beautiful lips curled up slightly. "I'm going

to give you some privacy. Alice would like to speak with you alone. Oh no, what does

Alice have to say, what has she seen now? Alice tiptoed into the bathroom and perched at the side of

the tub. OK-I thought, now it's been 3 people who have seen me in the buff. "Bella" she began, "there is

a lot I need to tell you. As you know, Edward nearly killed Carlisle tonight. As you might imagine, it was

quite a blow to him to know that you love Carlisle and you've been..well..quite intimate with him.

He and Carlisle have had 3 days to try and come to amends". (I was really out that long?)"

"They have reached the conclusion that they both can't live without you in their lives. They have

decided, though, that it is now your choice to make, and that the one not chosen will respect

your decision and will move away forever" "Alice, you need to know that I can't choose

one of them. I love them equally, and yet in unique ways. The only way out is that I leave both

Edward and Carlisle and let them move on. It's the only way. I can't hurt either one of them,

I love them too much" I sighed and slid under the water a bit. Quite frankly, the whole

conversation was embarrassing to have with Alice. "Bella, my dear friend"…Alice paused for

a moment, "have you considered a life with both of them?" I gasped, "Alice, that's perverse"

Alice giggled a bit and said "well I saw this in one of my visions" I stared at her as though she

came from outer space. "Like that would work, like they would agree to that?" "Well, actually

they have considered the possibility, and only put it aside because they feel that you'd

never consider it" "Oh my god", I stammered, "I never considered that as a choice..both..

both Carlisle and Edward?" On the one hand I couldn't picture a situation like that

working..the jealousy.. but these were vampires..not human men.. All of a sudden the idea

felt like a fabulous one. Living a fantasy life with two beautiful men-both who loved me-both that

I was in love with? My heart soared. "I take that as a yes? Alice always was a quick decision maker

herself, so she assumed everyone else was. "I'll go tell the boys" and with that she glided away

happily. The first one of "my" men, Edward, came into the bathroom glowing with excitement.

"We will make this work, Bella, I promise." "My" next mate, Carlisle entered the bathroom

beaming. "Yes Isabella, as vampires, we don't experience jealousy (well very rarely) Also, Edward

is my son, and I will do anything that makes him happy, and speaking of which.." Carlisle turned

and left the room , grinning at Edward and I over his shoulder, "I'll leave you two to catch up

where you left off so many months ago" I stared at Carlisle, my mouth agape, and he simply

nodded his head and smiled. Without any hesitation, Edward unbuttoned his shirt, and let it drop to the

floor. He unfastened his belt and trousers, and kicked them over

to the side with the shirt. As he stood in front of me, I took in all his chiseled glory and I thought

about how long I wanted to see him undressed. He pulled his boxers down slowly, and as I

got a look at his majestic physique and his arousal, I shuddered. He lowered himself into the

warm tub next to me, and we explored our bodies as we had so desired to for so long. We

kissed passionately and made love for the very first time.

What a life!


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes-I said that that was the end but a couple of kind readers (you know who you are) urged me to add more, and even gave me some ideas to pursue) thanks for the support and reviews- you always make my day. Rated M for one long lemon, and of course characters are not my own..**

**So last we left, Carlisle, Bella and Edward entered into an idyllic relationship. But-really could that last? Certainly there were bound to be tensions. What about the Volturi?**

**Chapter 9: Too good to be true?**

Edward and I toweled each other dry after our glorious tub together. "Bella love, I never

imagined it, well, you, well..it, would be so fabulous, so much more than I could ever

have thought." Edward was glowing and breathless. "I made an incredible mistake, Bella"

We put on our robes and moved to Edward's room. "Edward, I really can't absorb your

guilt. I forgive you, really I do, but forgetting will take longer. You made a mistake that

nearly killed me, and I still don't fully understand your misguided decision" and with that

Edward hung his head and furrowed his brow pinching the top of his nose. This was a

typical "Edwardism. "No, you need to hear me out", I continued, "When you left me, I

was a little insecure girl, and now I am a woman with more confidence. Carlisle is part of

the reason behind this transformation. He is a kind, remarkable man, and he took care of

me when you were gone. However, I do need to tell you that my feelings for Carlisle are

not just gratitude, but deep romantic love", I knew that this speech would be hard for him

to hear, but if this unusual romantic love triangle was to work out, I would need to be

painfully honest. To carry around resentment would be destructive to my newly formed

family. "Thank you for your honesty, Edward continued, of course it's hard to hear, and I

don't know how long it will take for me to forgive myself. I too have matured since I left

you, and I would like to think I am no longer as selfish as I was, and I won't try to engage

you in my guilt issues. I was very controlling of you before I left, and I think it will help

me to grow further under Carlisle's influence. It has helped me tremendously to hear

Carlisle's thoughts, and realize that you both are in love, but also still love me." I did

believe that Edward had grown. This situation was so new to me, but I had hope that we

had a chance to make this work. As if on cue, Carlisle strode into the room. "I am sorry to

interrupt you, but I think we should discuss the ground rules of our new family"

Edward dressed into a pair of jeans and a tight fitting gray shirt. Boy, this was going to

take getting used to. I dropped my robe, and felt the hungry eyes of two Vampire men

taking my nude body in. I got dressed quickly in the skirt and shirt Alice provided-oops

no underwear (seriously, Alice!), and turned to face my men. We headed to the living

room and sat together on the couch. I had no idea how to behave in the situation, who do

I hold, how do I share my intimacy? Carlisle began "Look, I think I need to set the tone

for our unusual relationship, and I am the elder." "Jeez Carlisle, I don't view you as the

patron here, I view you as one of my two great loves. If we keep up the "Edward's

girlfriend and father routine", this will be a disaster." I was so surprised with myself. In

merely a matter of months, I had truly become an independent, strong woman. "You are

correct, Bella. Forgive me. This is so new to me…to all of us. Edward, what's on your

mind?" Carlisle asked quizzically "I guess the same thing on all of our minds. How to

make this work, how to avoid being awkward, and how to avoid jealously." Edward

sounded like a young boy again. It became clear to me that I had to break the tension in

the room before we could go further. I turned to Carlisle and slowly unbuttoned his crisp

white shirt. He took a surprised breath. I eased his shirt off and stroked his beautiful,

muscular chest. I leaned in, and waited for him to kiss me. He glanced over at Edward,

and when he saw no hurt in Edward's face, he too leaned in and met my lips. We kissed

slowly and deeply, exploring our mouths with our tongues.

Next I leaned over to Edward and he understood my intent, and pulled his t shirt over his

head. God, they both had such beautiful bodies. Carlisle's chest was more muscular than

Edward's, but Edward's body was lean and more boyish with an innocent charm. I leaned

in to kiss Edward, and I noted that Edward looked over the top of my head at Carlisle.

Carlisle must not have shown any objection, because Edward lowered his head and

burrowed it in my hair. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and aggressively pulled him in for a

deep kiss. I noted that he had a different scent than Carlisle, a little less musky and a

little more fruity. Both fabulously delicious in their own way, and I knew that I would

never tire of making love to either of my vampire lovers.

Edward gently picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. Carlisle followed. This

bedroom was one I hadn't seen before, and had been beautifully decorated-by

(Alice? although she had discreetly left to hunt.) The room was dark except for candles

all over the room. They were all different shapes, colors and sizes and the room had a

lovely aroma-rose pedals had been strewn around the room including on the soft white

canopied bed. Edward laid me down in this most exotic environment. Nothing had been

forgotten-there was very quiet music playing in the bedroom. I recognized it-it was my

lullaby! However, instead of a pure piano piece, there was a beautiful cello

accompanying it as well. My vampires had been so wonderful and thoughtful that they

had actually recorded music they played together- yes-the piano was definitely played by

Edward, and the masterful cello by Carlisle. I could picture their long, elegant fingers as

they played their instruments. My body was covered with goose bumps as I took in the

elements of the romantic room, and imagined those talented, masterful fingers on my

body. Edward laid me gently on the bed, all the while kissing me deeply until

I broke away to gasp for breath. He smiled at me ever so slightly and mischievously.

Carlisle lay down on my other side and caressed my hair. Under normal human

circumstances, this whole scene would have felt wrong to me, but I loved them so much,

and their vampire culture was so very different, it felt right. I turned my head to Carlisle

and we entangled our fingers into one another's hair and began kissing feverously.

To my delight I felt Edward slowly unbutton my shirt and slip his hands underneath,

exploring every inch of my yearning body. My excitement became very evident as my

nipples hardened up, and I began to get very wet underneath my skirt. He had

successfully removed my shirt and unclasped my bra, tossing it off the bed. Carlisle

moaned and slung me on top of him so that I straddled him. Our kisses deepened and I

felt his extremely hard excitement. Edward's breath was getting jagged in tune with mine

and Carlisle's. Carlisle looked up at me lovingly with deep onyx colored eyes. When

Edward and Carlisle's eyes darkened from amber to black, it both excited me and slightly

frightened me, which was a heady mix. Carlisle ran his thumbs over my eager breasts and

moved me further back so that he could see the effect he was having on me. I moaned his

name loudly. (I could swear that I heard both men chuckle under their breath, because

they knew that I was completely at their mercy.) I was so titillated at the thought that

even if I were to try and escape them, I never would be able. This was really hot (even

though I knew that they would stop at a moments notice if I asked. Carlisle supported me

with one hand on the curve of my lower back and I suddenly sucked in my breath as I

realized that Edward had managed to snake his fingers underneath me, and enter me with

them: "oh my, no underwear?"he joked. Between the two of them I felt like I may

die from pleasure-I was the center of their universe. Edward slid his fingers in and out a

few times and I felt my hot liquid come streaming out. Edward shuddered a bit and I

realized that my hot body fluid would shock his cool fingers just as steaming hot water

would feel to me. I was growing increasingly hot, and the coolness of Carlisle's and

Edward's bodies was so heady, like having a popsicle in 90 degree weather. Carlisle

rolled me off his body, but before I could object, he pulled me back between his legs and

against the backboard of the bed. Edward was right there with us as he slid off my skirt

and positioned my leg over his shoulder. Carlisle kneaded my breasts gently from behind

and nuzzled and kissed my neck in the soft spot below my ear. I had a sudden vision that

he was about to bite me, and at first I was terrified- but then I thought it would not be a

bad way to go. Instead, Edward continued with a different type of torture, and brought his

face down between my spread legs, hitching up my leg for maximum access. His black

eyes stayed fixed on me as his lips went to work. I shrieked "Edward"! and knotted my

fingers into his copper hair. He groaned in a pleasured response. I occasionally reached

my arms behind my head to knot my fingers into Carlisle's beautiful, silky hair. His

hands were traveling down my length with gentle stoking motions until I thought I would

explode. I was about to lose it as Edward further tortured me with his mouth and tongue

at the core of my heat. He teased my engorged nerve center, and then entered me with

his cool tongue. "Ohh mmyy goddd Edward-I'm sorry guys!" I stammered and bucked,

my body shaking and writhing as I hit climax. All I saw was a dazzling white color

and a searing heat between my legs. "There is no reason to be sorry my dear Bella"

said Carlisle with his velvety voice. This is what we want for you—always.

Edward moved away, but as I protested, Carlisle moved me out of his arms and kneeled

in front of me. "Take my pants off my dear Isabella", he quietly commanded.

I eagerly complied, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them off -or at least

I tried because my hands were too shaky to finish the job. He chuckled slightly and

removed his pants and underwear- and I had not grown used to, I realized, the majesty of

his aroused member. "Please do you want this as much as I do, darling?" I thought it was

cute that he was polite at this point. I smiled at him and he lowered himself on to me,

being careful to support his weight with his arms. He didn't waste any time, (because I

think he couldn't) before entering my body with his cool, huge member. He began slowly

and torturously moving in and out of me with long strokes. I grasped his incredibly

muscular behind and moved my body in rhythm with his. He punished my mouth with

urgent kisses. I knew that I wasn't going to last long at this point: "Carlisle-I screamed

Please!"...He flipped me over on my back effortlessly, never breaking our bond, and I

rode up and down on him in a very exhilarating, dominant style, and it was his turn

to plead me to continue. "Bella please!" he moaned "You are killing me." Edward, I

now realized, had kneeled behind me and was running his strong agile hands up and

down my body. That was all I could take and I bucked up and came slamming down on

Carlisle as I reached climax once again. "I love you both so much" I screamed. I could

feel that the clenching of my muscles was too much for Carlisle as his cool juices spurted

into my eager body. It was certainly Edward's turn I thought as I lay panting next to an

exhausted Carlisle. "please Edward, I want to pleasure you." I kneeled to face him and

kissed him deeply and desperately as I unbuckled his pants and this time was successful

in getting them off. I caught sight of his manhood, and shuddered. Both men were

equally beautiful I thought. We fell to our sides in a spooning position, and he entered me

gently from behind, while I stared deeply into Carlisle's eyes as we kissed. Edward's

strokes started slow but then intensified as he felt the extreme eroticism of the situation. I

reached my hands back to grasp Edward's hair as he pumped me harder. He hitched my

leg over his shoulder for better leverage, and we both climaxed at the same time. "Oh,

Bella!" Edward moaned loudly. I screamed his name as well. The three of us just fell to

the bed in a row with me in the middle, and I held both of my vampire's hands. I am not

sure what in this world could feel better. Edward and Carlisle had the same feeling, and I

knew it without them saying anything to me.

Of course this was all too good to be true, because Alice burst into the room, and after a

moment of total embarrassment she found her voice: "the Volturi are coming, and they

want to make sure that Bella is not human anymore"

dah dah dah dumm.


	10. Chapter 10

All S. Meyer characters, no infringement intended, etc. **PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**. Am going through a rough patch and anything is appreciated!

_**The three of us just fell to the bed in a row with me in the middle, and I held both of my vampire's hands. I am not sure what in this world could feel better. Edward and Carlisle had the same feeling, and I knew it without them saying anything to course this was all too good to be true, because Alice burst into the room, and after a moment of total embarrassment she found her voice: "the Volturi are coming, and they want to make sure that Bella is not human anymore"**_

Chapter 10: change me

The 3 of us sat up quickly as Alice came in, which was hard because of all that we

just "been through." Again-awkward! The three of us in bed, naked, and clearly

exhausted from our lovemaking. I tried to pull up a sheet-but anything remotely

sheet-like was tossed around the room, as were our clothes. I looked for a pillow and

found several-oops bitten to pieces. I forgot about how out of control my two

vampires became in the heat of things. Alice averted her eyes and the panicked

look on her face was somewhat softened with a little smirk. "Alice!" said Carlisle sternly,

what exactly have you seen?" "Well, I can't be 100% sure, but I know that Jane is

making her way here as we speak, and Aro may also make the journey. The Volturi had

been "watching" the three of us all this time! Could this get any more embarrassing?

That thought was immediately replaced with "_wow that was good_". Wait-why wasn't I

terrified by the fact that the Voluri were about to descend upon us. (_Oh-yah I forgot I just _

_had the hottest experience EVER_! ).

Time to get serious though. Alice picked up a towel and tossed it to me so that I cover

myself. I think she was somewhat horrified, however, to see her dad and brother

in their current disrobed state. "What does this exactly mean?" I asked (knowing the

answer just as the words came out). "As you well remember Bella", Alice said with a

tinge of annoyance, "we did kinda promise that you would be turned shortly after our

return-and it would be obvious by the flush on your face and your sweat (she looked at

Edward and Carlisle accusingly), that you are still very human" "Alice, that's enough"

Carlisle murmured, "we are all aware of the seriousness of the situation. When are they

going to get here?" Now I could feel my stomach knot up. "It may be as early as

Tuesday" she stared off into the distance intently. Oh no, it's Sunday

today, I thought. It suddenly struck me hard. I felt anxiety build up in me.

So soon... I hadn't even thought about that subject in awhile. In fact, my internal

time clock had slowed down because of my newly formed vampire love triangle. Carlisle

was a fair bit older than me, and for some reason, it made it easier to consider getting

older than Edward. _Interesting, really, to be the older woman-kind of sexy to me in fact._

I couldn't believe how my thoughts and attitudes had changed with the advent of my new

lifestyle. "Bella!" Edward sad loudly, jarring me out of my inappropriate daydreams "Are

you with us? Do you realize what this means?" Oh my, another thought hit me. Who will

turn me? There is so much importance placed on whether Carlisle or Edward changed

me. Mostly I think, on Edward's part. "Yes, Edward" I snapped "I am fully aware of

what this means!" I regretted the tone in my voice, but to be honest, (_I was still a bit _

_aroused and petulant_) about being interrupted by Alice. _Frankly, I had already thought _

_about the next round of sex, and who would do what to whom_. Snap out of it! I thought.

"We'll get her out of here quickly", stammered Edward, we have some lead time to

our advantage, but it is very hard to hide from them, if not impossible. A new vampire

has joined Tanya's coven, and I've heard that she has a power that might be useful to

block the Volturi's visions at least temporarily". I looked over at Edward, and he looked

so panicked that I suddenly took things A LOT more seriously. Next, I turned to Carlisle,

and he had a more…philosophical look on his face. What was going on in that gorgeous

man's head? I took one more opportunity to sneakily look at my men from top to toe. I

knew that was _wrong_ under the circumstances, but jeez, this was one of the first times

that I could inspect both at the same time.

Carlisle broke the momentary silence: "Edward, you have to come to grips with the fact

that Bella must be turned, or the Volturi will do the job themselves or even kill her (and

us while they are at it)."

Edward' mouth set into a grim line, "I still say that there is a way to preserve her

humanity. You know that I don't want this for her!" I looked at him as though he was

from some other world, and I noted that Carlisle and Alice were looking none too pleased

with Edward either. "Edward, we are all getting damn sick of your opinion on this. We

are all adults, oh I forgot that technically you aren't.." Even Alice knew that was a low

blow as it left her mouth. "Well, I've seen the future, she is one of us, and by the looks of

it, she doesn't look a day older in my vision than she is now" Edward bowed his head

and shook it silently from side to side. "Son, you know that Alice is right, you know that

the Volturi will kill her or turn her themselves so that they can amuse themselves with her

odd powers. It should also go unsaid that depending on their mood, they probably will

kill the entire Cullen family as well" Alice piped in sarcastically: "OK, now that that is

settled, which one of you will do the deed?.. Carlisle going once, Carlisle going twice…."

"ALICE, Carlisle interrupted, "you are going too far with this. This is no joke. We are

again treating Bella like she has no say in the matter." Shit, this was really serious.

"Alice, I need to know. Will my bond change, or grow deeper-with the

one who turns me?" I asked. I didn't want to know the answer to the question that I had

only recently considered. "Well, umm, I can't answer that Bella, it's never come up

before." All eyes turned to Carlisle. He glanced to the floor before looking up again. "I

really don't know. My fear is that it could upset the balance of our relationships,

depending on which of us turns Bella. I'll be honest that this terrifies me."

Everyone got very still and looked either at the floor or at each other. Edward took my

hand and gently led me to the bathroom so I could shower and change. Luckily Alice

provided me with a sharp outfit because I had no idea what one should wear while being

changed into a vampire. "Bella", asked Edward quietly, "can I stay here with you?"

Hearing his voice broke my heart, because he sounded resigned, sad and terrified all in

one. His reaction was a sharp contrast to Carlisle's. I wanted to comfort and protect my

Edward, but in turn wanted to be protected by my strong, confident Carlisle. "Of course,

Edward", I said in a low tone. I turned my head up to gently kiss him on the lips. He

burrowed his head into the small of my neck. When I finally broke away, he

anxiously ran his fingers through his fascinating copper colored hair. I had a flashback

from the time before he left, when I thought he was the one and only person I could

ever love. I still loved him as much, if not more, than ever. I stepped into the shower,

and tried to clear my head and I was saddened to wash away the comforting scents of

my two lovers. This turn of events changed everything. I stepped back out and towel

dried myself. Edward silently came behind me and helped me dry my hair and leaned

down to kiss my damp cheek. His touch made me shiver and in response, he wrapped me

in a dry towel and embraced me so hard that it was hard not to wince. "Please, Bella,

don't do this, he quietly pleaded. You can stay with me forever, I will love you

always. I don't think you know how it will feel when you can't feel your heart

beat, not knowing if you'll die and where you'll go when…"

I simply had nothing to say that would make his pain go away.

Carlisle barged into the room rather angrily. "Edward, I've had enough of this. No one

wanted Bella to join us in this way, this sudden way-but she is simply no longer safe as

a human. I need Bella with me for eternity and I am prepared to change her right here,

right now; if she is ready. "Bella?" Carlisle softly spoke, looking for my agreement.

"I'm ready, Carlisle. I am sorry Edward. This has to be, and Carlisle is ready to step up"

With that, Edward lunged at Carlisle. I watched in horror as Edward slammed Carlisle

into the dining table, shattering it into splinters. Carlisle was definitely stronger and

moved to restrain Edward by pinning his arms behind his back. Alice and I were

screaming at the top of our lungs for them to stop. Alice stepped in to assist Carlisle.

Carlisle's shirt had been ripped to shreds and Edward was frantically trying to free

himself. "You all have betrayed me, he hissed, and if you truly loved her, you

wouldn't be so quick to damn her soul." With that, Edward wrenched away and moved

away in a blur. I heard his super fancy car rev up and squeal out of the garage.

Tears spilled from my eyes; "Carlisle, why does he leave when the going gets rough? I

thought he would stand by my choice." My body was wracked with my sobbing. Alice

was closest and grabbed me into her arms. "shh,shh, she calmed, we don't have much

time, Carlisle?" She moved aside sensing my need for him. Carlisle wrapped me into his

rock hard arms. He gently turned up my chin so that he could look me in the eye. "Bella,

I'm sorry my love, we need a plan and I am afraid that we will have to let Edward go for

now. I need to hear from you again that you are at peace with what you are going to

become. This will be very difficult for you, saying goodbye to Charlie and Renee,

and the act of being changed is, well-very painful." I looked into his eyes, his

beautiful amber pools; "Carlisle, this is something I've wanted since...well, since..

I fell in love with Edward", I said awkwardly; and feeling only intensified when I fell in

love with you. I will die if I lose you. I am frightened, though, and I wish I

could say goodbye to my parents and make some sort of peace with Edward"

I could swear I could hear Alice growl a little at me. I already knew that

she felt that I was incredibly lucky to have both Edward and Carlisle, and I

think she was growing impatient with my hesitance about the inevitable change.

Carlisle asked : "How long do we have, Alice? Has your vision changed at all? Can you

see where Edward is and what he is doing?" "Honestly, Carlisle, my visions are

moving too rapidly to be sure of. The Volturi are closing in, that I am sure of,

and frankly, the timeline is sooner than I thought. I am unable to see Edward,

I think he is regretting his reaction, but can't come right back-he is too conflicted"

Alice rattled off quickly.

"OK-I feel it's best if we head to Tanya's coven. The majority of the family is

gathered there coincidentally, and I think we will need their help with the

Volturi." I always enjoyed watching Carlisle take charge, although I couldn't

allow myself to forget what he was taking of. "Bella, my love, do you agree with

this course of action?", he said quietly. "Yes, Carlisle, sounds like the best plan under the

circumstances" Alice, you're coming as well, right?" I pleaded. "Bella, I am staying here

until you

get to Tanya's in case the Volturi stop here first. Then I will be at your side, now and

forever, my dear sister. No matter what happens," I was so grateful to have her as a

friend. "Please Carlisle, I need to call my parents" At this point Carlisle looked anxious,

something I'd never seen before, and frankly it scared the hell out of me. "Bella,

we have to get in the car. You'll have to call on the way. I'm so sorry." As usual

Alice flitted away to pack a bag for me in no more than a minute. I could be sure that

everything in the bag would be too girlish or even sexy for my taste. Oh well.

"Here you go, Bella, I love you", and with that she pressed the bag into my hand and

kissed me on the cheek. Carlisle accompanied me into the garage, tossed my bag into the

back seat and helped me into the low slung, black Mercedes. He turned the key and

backed out of the garage. As we swung out into the driveway, I stopped him by

holding my hand over his on the stick shift. "Carlisle, do you love me? I know that

sounds nuts, but I am so frightened. I think Edward may have left me again, maybe

forever, and for all I know, you'll do the same. Maybe you won't feel the same after

the change…" Carlisle hushed and silenced me with a deep kiss. Alice ran after us and

cautioned "I am getting strong feelings that they will be here sooner than later. Get

moving-no time for kissing!" We sped off into the darkness at the breakneck speeds

I was so used to with Edward. I tried looking down to ease my stomach. We moved

swiftly and silently. I realized that I not noticed Carlisle getting dressed, so I glanced

over. Wrong move. He was wearing a black t shirt which hugged his body tightly and

showed off every small movement of his muscular arms. He was wearing the jeans I

loved so much, the ones that showcased..well..his other fabulous features. I felt the

hot electricity rising in my core. Carlisle noted it immediately. "Yes, he said in a

low voice, I will make love to you again before the change". His grip on the wheel

got much tighter, and I could see that it was taking all his will power not to pull over

to the side of the road and undress me. We were getting very close to Tanya's coven

and my stomach was in knots. Not only was I scared stiff of the change, but I still

had a deep seated jealousy towards Tanya, even though she was now with Esme. I

wondered how hard it would be on Carlisle to see Esme again. I let out a small

sigh. At that moment, Carlisle unexpectedly pulled the car over to the side of the road,

and drove effortlessly behind a grove of bushes, not damaging the car or jarring us

whatsoever. "I can't take this Bella-you are so damn sexy, and I don't know what lies in

store for us. I vote that we relax one another" Before I could process that, Carlisle

reached over quickly and undid the buttons of my shirt. I groaned and

leaned over to kiss him. We kissed passionately, and I realized how much we were

behaving like two horny teens. I chuckled to myself. This is not something I'd expect

from the cultured Dr. Cullen, but I'd take it anyway. He pulled his seat back and swung

me over his lap. Thank goodness Alice picked a skirt I thought. Carlisle slipped his

hands under my shirt and groaned with pleasure while touching my warm, aroused

breasts. He moved me back a bit and yanked at his belt, and pulled his pants and boxers

off as far as possible. Our breathing became ragged, and my heart was about to

burst out of my chest. I slipped my hands under his shirt to slide them over his

fabulous muscular chest. He couldn't seem to take it anymore, and he effortlessly

pulled me up from his lap to rip my underwear off. He touched his tip against me,

never once stopping from kissing me deeply and supporting me by the small of my back

with the other hand. He lowered my eager body down and empaled me on his rock hard

member. Oh my god, I thought, he is huge, but somehow we still fit together

beautifully. He rocked me up and down urgently and my insides became so wet

that I knew I was soaking his legs. We moved in rhythm with one another effortlessly. He

groaned loudly and broke the kiss long enough to moan "Bella you are so sexy, you will

be the death of me. I love you so completely." With that I screamed his name and

climaxed so violently that I hit the back of my head on the windshield. I was instantly

concerned that I may have hurt him in some way down..there.., but I felt him climax as

well screaming my name, and his ice cold liquid spurted into me as he also jerked wildly

backward. He immediately put his hand on the back of my head, gently touching

the growing egg from where I hit the windshield. He breathed in sharply "Oh my sweet,

what will I do with you-I am so sorry" I chuckled and kissed his tender soft lips. "You

know me, I can get injured doing any type of activity. At least this time I sustained my

injury in the most pleasurable way possible" He surprised me by laughing as well. He

was usually super serious when I even as much as got a scrape. He gently removed me

from his lap and we reluctantly got dressed again. He found an instant ice pack in his bag

and applied it to my head. "You'll live", he said lightly. We both became very silent

when he said that because we really didn't know that for sure. Carlisle smoothed my hair

and gave me one final kiss before hitting the accelerator once again. About 20 minutes

later, we pulled into the driveway of Tanya's magnificent house. Alice must have called

ahead, because the gorgeous Tanya was already outside. Looming behind her was an

angry looking Edward, his lips set in a grim line.

_**Da da da dummmm Reviews pretty please!**_

.


	11. Chapter 11

**OK-Disclaimer. I took some big liberties here, so don't get mad! Doesn't follow timelines**

**or all characters. (I haven't read the new novella from Srephanie) If I've messed something up, you can correct me. REVIEWS PLEASE. I'm feeling lonely! (and it's my birthdayJ) **

**Carlisle smoothed my hair and gave me one final kiss before hitting the accelerator once again. About 20 minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of Tanya's magnificent house. Alice must have called ahead, because the gorgeous Tanya was already outside. Looming behind her was an angry looking Edward, his lips set in a grim line.**

The Denali house was every bit as light and modern as the Cullen residence. Tanya

glared at me with a smoldering dislike; "well, well, look what Carlisle dragged in"

I still couldn't see her point of view, especially in light of her new relationship with

Esme. Carlisle ignored the dig, and they embraced warmly. Tanya peeked over the top

of his shoulder at me and looked triumphant. She cleared viewed my mousy human looks

to be far inferior to hers, and I agreed. I was trying really hard not to be jealous of her, even

in light of the fact that she was clearly standing possessively in front of Edward. I looked

past them and caught Edward's eye. He looked for my reaction and I smiled

welcomingly, despite the fleeting thought of "Edward! man-up already" He was clearly

shocked that Carlisle hadn't changed me yet. He crossed the distance between us in 3

strides and pulled me into his arms in an ardent embrace. "Bella, love, you are still

human-there is someone I'd like you to meet who may be able to keep you that way,

at least for now" OMG- did this guy ever stop with the stay human shtick...

Carlisle had released himself from Tanya's clutch and joined Edward and I.

"Listen Edward, every minute we waste is potentially disastrous for Bella. The

Volturi already had a major run in with the Denali clan years ago, and they will not be

pleased with the situation when they visit" Carlisle's tone was low and menacing. Even I

was taken aback. "Oh I'm being so rude" Tanya said snidely "let's get you inside. The

human may need to eat or something" "Tanya-that's enough! This is a hard enough time

for Bella, please let her be." Carlisle said with not an ounce of patience left. Tanya was

not done, she never seemed able to let go "Oh, how sweet you are to your

future daughter-in-law" she purred. Oh my god. She had no idea about the "love triangle"

between Edward, Carlisle and myself. Alice never told anyone it seemed.

I can't say that I wasn't a little pleased at the reaction Tanya would have to this info.

At the same time, I thought about Esme, and that it would be very difficult for her to

understand our relationship and not worry about Edward. I'll have to be a little less

dramatic about this than I'd like. The house was airy and filled with fascinating artifacts from far flung

places and times. The first to greet us was Esme, looking as beautiful and radiant as ever, dressed in a

color purple which brought out the color of her magnificent amber eyes. Like she needed any help

looking fabulous. She rushed over to embrace me warmly "Bella my sweet, I have missed you so

much. I am so sorry that circumstances have not allowed me to be in close contact with

you". Esme turned her gaze to Carlisle and I could see a genuine look of concern and

apology in her eyes. She clearly understood how much she had hurt him. I don't think she

knew exactly what to do, and Carlisle broke the tension by moving to her side and

hugging her tightly. They seemed to have a wordless communication of some sort,

something you can only accomplish when you've known someone as long as they did.

They embraced for awhile and awkwardly broke away. I sensed there were others in the

house, but that they were giving us space. "Esme, there is something I need to explain to

you and I don't have a lot of time. Can we go to a more private space? I need Bella and

Edward to join us as well," Carlisle asked softly. Tanya clearly bristled at this; "anything

that involves Esme, involves me as well." "OK, Tanya, you can join us as well. But

again, don't go after Bella anymore" he said sternly. We moved over to a small private

room that looked like a library. "Esme, when we.. split, you probably know that I went

back to my work in Forks. Working was my sanity. What you didn't know, and neither

did I at the time, is that I also went back to keep a watch over Bella. She was devastated

after the loss of Edward, and was in a deep depression (Edward flinched a little at that

statement). We spent much time together, and I came to realize that I had strong feelings

for her. It seemed as though she had feelings for me as well. I took me awhile to

determine whether I was a replacement for Edward, but I wasn't, and we fell deeply in

love." Oh, did I love to hear him say that. An awkward pause followed. Carlisle looked at

the floor, Esme turned and looked at Edward to see if he was OK, Tanya looked furious

again. It was as though time stayed still for a moment. Carlisle immediately knew that

Esme was distressed about what this news meant to her son. "But, Edward…?" she

asked emotionally, as though she would cry if she could. "Well, Esme, Edward did return

to Forks, and he didn't react well to the situation, as you may imagine. However, Bella

loves us both so much that she was prepared to leave rather then choose. Edward and I

love Bella so deeply that we allowed Bella a choice between us and the one not chosen

would leave forever. An interesting development followed, and the three of us decided to

make things work as a family" Carlisle explained, looking down again. "Carlisle what do

you mean by "making things work as a family"? Esme was clearly confused by the

news. Edward spoke for the first time, "Esme, the two of us love Bella, and we are both..

with her.. romantically. It's working for us, well, we've hit a crossroad about who will

and when will we change her." Esme still had a look of shock on her face, but Tanya

went at it again, despite Carlisle's request to leave me alone. It was just too much for her

to bear that this mousy, insignificant human captured the love of these fabulous vampire

lovers.

"Fabulous, she began shrilly, how does she decide who to fuck when? Do you two have a sex schedule

for Bella? Mondays are for Carlisle, Tuesdays are for Edward? Better yet-do you fuck her at the same

time? How do make sure you don't break her skinny human body when you go at it? Are they good

Bella? Are they really good? Which one is better in the bed? Which one is better endowed? Let me join

in! Let's kick the human out though" "TANYA!" Esme screeched "that is enough! What has gotten

into you? I know that you have always felt hurt that Edward doesn't respond to your

romantic advances, but you have to get over it. It doesn't mean that you are not infinitely

desirable. I thought I made you understand that. I thought I made you feel like the

center of my universe." with that, Esme excused herself and ran upstairs. Esme was not

the type to escape situations, but it was too much to handle; the news that your son and

ex-husband were involved with the same person, and watching your mate behave like a

nasty beast. I did not see at all why Esme was involved with Tanya, but I did know that

Esme was the type of vampire that brought out the best in everyone. I was ready to start

crying after this tirade, but I really didn't want to give Tanya the pleasure. I tried, but a

tear spilled out of my eye, and Edward noticed and hooked his arm around my waist.

"Tanya, Carlisle spoke in a controlled manner, don't you think you should attend to

Esme?" Tanya bolted up the stairs in lightning speed. The tension of everything finally

was too much and I started sobbing. "You know, she is right. I am not good enough for

one of you, let alone both of you, and maybe this is a completely insane arrangement"

Edward pulled me around in a snug embrace and pulled my head into his shoulder.

Carlisle came behind me and rubbed my back and stroked my hair. "No, you are

wrong. Can't you see that she is insanely jealous of you? Do you remember Rosalie's

initial attitude to you? Vampires can be vain, and although Rosalie was never

romantically interested in Edward, she was still angry that he found you more attractive

than her." Carlisle tenderly leaned in to kiss my neck until the hairs stood straight on end.

Edward backed up to let us have a moment. Carlisle turned me around and did a gentle

exploration of my mouth with his. I was beginning to forget what I was so upset about.

Someone came into the room and cleared their throat..ehhhemm. It was Jasper! No

wonder I felt better, he was fabulous at his calming skills. "Hey my little lady", he said

with his cute Southern lilt. "I couldn't help overhearing. This is an interesting

development indeed". "I missed you girl" and with that he gathered me up in his arms.

"Truth be told, Alice did give me some vague details about this ..arrangement.. but I have

to admit that I didn't fully believe her." "What- didn't believe me huh? "Alice!" Jasper and I

exclaimed. Alice flitted to Jasper's side and they shared a long kiss. "Since when do you doubt my

visions?" Alice teased. "Is Esme OK?" Alice's face was pinched in concern; "I held back on telling her

anything, I thought it was best for you to explain, Carlisle, but I didn't see Tanya's reaction, I'm sorry"

"Alice, could you check on Esme, please?" Carlisle was always concerned with everyone.

Jasper moved aside and several other vampires entered the room. I recognized or had heard about

all of them; Kate, Garrett, Carmen and Eleazar. They were all beautiful (as expected), and

welcomed me with me open arms. Carmen and Eleazar were an olive skinned Spanish couple.

Edward had once explained to me that Eleazar had the fascinating talent of being able to

determine the special powers of both and vampires and humans. Eleazar came over and gently

took my hand to kiss it in an old fashioned manner. He stepped back a bit and said in his

slight Spanish accent: " Oh my, you do have a strong power, as I heard. You are basically a

human shield. When you become a vampire, you will be certainly quite strong". I blushed

a little because all eyes were on me. He moved back to Carmen and held hands with the

olive skinned beauty. Next up was the gorgeous fair haired Kate and her mate Garrett,

and they both gave me a quick gentle embrace. Kate said: "Edward was correct, you are

quite special, and beautiful as well" When she saw me stare at the floor, she added, "Oh

and he said that you'd never accept such a compliment" She chuckled softly.

The incident with Tanya was still on my mind, but Carlisle explained that her reaction was not

characteristic of her and was a combination of insecurity towards me, and also a deep dread of Carlisle's

reaction to her relationship with Esme. He could explain it any which way he wanted but I still didn't buy

the idea that she was sweet and misunderstood. I only knew that if anyone could tame her it would be

Esme. Just when I thought I had met everyone, Jasper led a dark haired, pixie-like teen with

reddish eyes. This is Bree. Part of the problem here is the Volturi want her dead.

She has by far the most unusual and strong power they've encountered. She is able

to alter memory. From what we can tell she can wipe out Vampire's memories, at least

temporarily, and we think she can place false memories as well. Poor little Bree looked

so vulnerable and ..well..hungry when she looked at me. Jasper continued, "They either

want her dead or they want her with them. She is determined not to join them. No

matter how blood thirsty she still is, she believes in our lifestyle and wants to live with us.

I watched in horror when I noticed that Jasper was using all his force to hold her

away from me. Oh great, I thought, this is how I'll be shortly. "We are all curious to see

whether her power works on you, Bella", Jasper said, groaning from the effort to hold

her back. Go ahead Bree". "Enough" said Carlisle, "Bella is not a test animal. We have no

idea what Bree's power could do to a human" "Carlisle, I have to disagree. This power

could help in a number of ways. Can you imagine if we could wipe out Bella's memory

of the pain she'll experience when she is changed. As I remember, the memories were very vivid when

I was changed. We could spare her that", Edward urged. "Carlisle, I said, "I have to see

you in private". He spirited me away from the others into yet another small private room.

Edward looked on with a hurt expression on his face. "Carlisle, I want you to change me

now. I think you have my best interest at heart, and your thoughts are not clouded like

Edward's. He is planning a big show down with the Volturi, which I find to be a

massive risk to all of us, not to mention a tactic to put off the inevitable. I want you to

change me now. I am sure of it. The only request I have is that you do it while we are

making love. I want you to bring me to ecstasy and bring me into your world forever. It

means a lot to me, and I'd like the experience to bond us" Carlisle looked

at me and said "Bella, it would be an honor, and I would more than gladly comply with your

wishes. I have a most exquisite room to show you." His voice was full of love and passion.

Just as we turned to leave the room, Edward led Bree into the room. "OK, try it" he said.

"No, Edward, no" I screeched. Suddenly I fell to my knees and felt a weird pressure

in my head. When I stood up I said "Who are you people? What do you want?"

_**Da Da Dum**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**The usual disclaimers; not my characters, no infringement intended, etc**_**. Please, please review! Work is really difficult right now-I need your support**** Reviews make me write more frequently. PS-I just can't seem to kick Edward to the curb, and boy do I think he deserves it.!**

_**Edward led Bree into the room. "OK, try it" he said. "No, Edward, no" I screeched. Suddenly I fell to my knees and felt a weird pressure in my head. When I stood up I said "Who are you people? What do you want?"**_

I panicked-who was I? Where was I? Who were these people? They seemed upset and

aggressive. What could I do to escape? Where there any people who wanted protect me? The

group were all very good looking people, strange looking though, and mood in the room was

not good. Names were being used; Carlisle, Edward, Bree, Alice, Jasper, and Bella. OK-

so I had to be Bree, Alice or Bella. It was settled when more than one of them asked me: "Bella

are you OK?" I didn't respond to any of them, but rather scooted myself to the side of the room,

and held my knees close to my chest. I saw a tall blonde man lunge towards a younger man with

copper colored hair. They began fighting, and it was a violent and other-worldly scene. The

blonde man grabbed the younger man by the neck and slammed him to the ground. The younger

man literally bounced back on his feet and made a hissing noise before pushing the blonde across

the room. The blonde slammed into a bookcase so hard that it shattered into a million splinters.

I couldn't believe the speed, the violence and destruction. No one should be able to survive this

kind of beating. The blonde was named Carlisle and the younger man was called Edward. I

closed my eyes because I couldn't bear to see anyone die. Someone screamed: "Jasper-

look out for Bree!" My eyes snapped open just in time to see a tiny teenage girl with brown hair

and blood red eyes yank away from a man with curly blonde hair and fly at me. I pulled my

knees closer and clamped my eyes shut. I knew I would be destroyed by one of these awful

beings, and I hoped that somehow this was a bad dream-but I knew it wasn't. My next

sensation was a terrible, searing pain, like someone had bitten me and poured acid into the

wound. The burning feeling was excruciating. Despite the fact that I was trying to cause no

attention to myself, I heard myself howl like a wounded animal. Everyone fell silent except for

me, and the curly haired man named Jasper, restrained the teen. My whole body

was on fire by now, literally as if someone tossed me on hot coals. I only wished that I could die

quickly. A tear ran down my face, not only because I was dying a horrible death, but that I didn't

have any idea who I was. Was I part of this group, and had done something so heinous that they

needed to kill me? Somehow it was important for me to know if I was evil and deserving of this

torture. Would I end up in some kind of hell? Everyone suddenly focused on me, and for the first

time I felt that some of them cared that I was dying. The beings (I was not sure at all whether to

call them human) named Carlisle and Edward stopped trying to kill one another. One screamed:

"Jasper, get Bree out of here NOW! The woman (Alice must be her name) shrieked-"Bella"!

In the lightning speed that I was getting accustomed to, Carlisle and Edward were at my

side. I was getting a better picture that Alice, Carlisle, Edward and Jasper were my supporters

and that the teen had bitten me against their wishes. At least that, I thought, as I descended into a

pain-induced stupor. The one called Edward hovered over me and told the others that he would

take care of me. "I know I am responsible for this, but I really don't want her changed when she

has no idea of who she is. That's cruel and it's nothing she can agree to in her current state"

Edward said breathlessly. "OK- I actually agree with you, Edward, but we have to work quickly"

Carlisle said. Alice looked distressed, but nodded her head. Changing, taking care of?

What were they talking about? "I insist on saving her life" said Carlisle strongly "I have the best

chance of saving her, of being able to stop. We will let go of the other argument immediately,

however". The copper haired man seemed to agree. For some odd reason, Carlisle

instilled confidence in me. He dropped to his knees, and identified the part of my arm I was

clutching. Next thing I knew he sank his teeth into my arm-now I was really screaming full

force. What popped briefly in my mind was—this is a vampire cult! So much for any trust-I was

so dead. I felt totally detached as I watched the back of this blonde man's head and felt a

powerful sucking force on my arm. I'd had blood taken before-I remembered that-but this felt

like the kind of power that you need to use when you are sucking on a frozen drink with a straw

once the liquid is gone. I could feel the sucking all over my body and could feel the steady

painful throb of my heart. Everything became cloudy and the room swirled around. As I was

slipping into unconsciousness, I could picture a pretty woman in her late 30's or so and a man

with a moustache. They looked friendly and welcoming-parents? The two men, Carlisle and

Edward were also in the swirl of images, but the feeling was odd-they were not monsters but

rather I caught glimpses of them smiling at me and I could swear I felt the one named Carlisle

hold my hand. I heard a frantic voice say something like: "that's enough." That was all.

Complete silence and calm. Death. No-I came back with a jolt-pretty unpleasant. Everything on

my body hurt. I felt so weak that I could barely keep my eyes open. I was very agitated and

wished I could go back to feeling nothing. Carlisle had pulled away from me and had his

hand to his mouth with an odd pained expression on his face. Not to go back to the frozen drink

analogy, but he appeared to have brain freeze. The woman, Alice, had a comforting arm around

him and was calmly commending him for "stopping?" "Bella, Bella-do you know who we are?"

pleaded the kid with the copper hair. I shook my head no. "I can't believe I did this. I won't ever

forgive myself. This is the second time I've completely let her down. It's time for me to leave"

No one followed him out of the room and they remained completely focused on me. It was

apparent to me that the people (if that's what they were) left in the room cared deeply about my

well-being. Carlisle hugged me, and apologized profusely. He flew out of the room and

yelled "Edward!" The two men seemed to care about me in a manner that was stronger than a

friend and different than a relative. Two beautiful women swept into the room, their names

apparently Esme and Tanya. The one called Esme looked as though she was going to cry, and the

other, Tanya started apologizing "Bella. I am so so sorry. I don't know what got into me.

I am so jealous, and I don't deserve to have you as a friend. Alice stammered, "Esme.. Tanya..

she doesn't know who you are, so please don't frighten her." Alice took the women out of the

room to explain something to them. I vaguely worried about the boy called Edward, he seemed so

distressed about something he did to me. Truth be told, I couldn't spend time worrying. I knew that I had

to figure out who I was, and try to escape. No use in escaping though, if I had no idea where to go.

Esme and Alice helped me up and brought me to a couch to rest. For the next week or so I recuperated,

and everyone was very caring. Especially Carlisle and Alice. They watched my every move (a little

creepy), made sure I ate and slept, although I never saw anyone in the house eat or sleep. Alice dressed

me like a Barbie every day, and I didn't mind, the clothing was beautiful. I started to remember very

vague things about childhood. Small things like going out for ice cream, and certain TV shows. The

people I visualized as parents when I was dying were popping up in my conscious brain more often, and

brought feelings of loving, caring and home, although I didn't get the sense that home was just one place.

Different people came in and out of the picture. I got a visit from someone named Rosalie, who was about

the best looking woman I had ever seen. I spent many a moment at the mirror, and saw a mousy haired

person, with big rings around my eyes. I joked with myself that at least I knew they didn't like me just for

my looks. That in itself made me very wary of the stolen glances that Carlisle gave me. What-did he have

an ugly duckling fixation? Did he feel bad for me? Were they all going to do a "reveal" on me like the

funny shows I saw on TV about mousy people getting "makeovers" The "people" who took care of me

let me watch a lot of TV, and explained that it might help me get my memory back. I was really frustrated

by the fact that I was pretty sure that everyone here knew me well, but told me barely anything about

myself. I overheard Carlisle talk to Esme, and explain that too much information right now may

be detrimental to my recovery and could set me back. That really ticked me off and I planned on

confronting him. Esme, though, vigorously disagreed with the reasoning, saying that I could be in

extreme danger if I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't decide whether to approach her separately.

What I really couldn't understand were my feelings for Carlisle-I was getting really infatuated with him.

Weeks went by, and I was comfortable physically, but I was still an emotional wreck. I think only

someone who has experienced memory loss would understand what it is like to have no idea who you

are or how you fit in. I even started missing Edward, and I couldn't understand why I had feelings

towards both men. Was I in a bizarre harem? I got to know more people. I was quite comfortable with

Jasper, and also Rosalie. I overheard a snippet of conversation in which she told Esme how happy she was

that there were no plans to "change me" What did that mean? Tanya was extremely nice to me and

treated me with kid gloves. She was obviously atoning for something she did. I was certainly in no

position to hold a grudge! The cute teen with the reddish, gold eyes was very kind to me and almost

annoyingly tended to my every need. What I didn't know, and wouldn't know for a while was that

Bree was the cause of my memory loss, had bitten me and had messed with my mind to erase my memory

of her attack.. Everyone, especially Jasper, kept a tight look over her it seemed. One night as I headed for

bed (the only person to do so in this bizarre house), I overheard a conversation between Carlisle and

Esme. They seemed very close like husband and wife, which gave me the oddest feeling in my stomach,

yet Esme was clearly involved with Tanya. Again, what was this? A vampire brothel? I had definitely

decided to think of them as vampires, because I did some research on the internet when they weren't

looking (vampires were considered mythical it seemed, but I disagreed). They were extraordinarily fast,

didn't eat, didn't sleep, their skin was ice cold, and they seemed indestructible. I was sure that they were

not human. Even though I really wanted to know more about my situation, I was scared stiff that if they

found out that I knew their identity, they may have some need to kill me. One evening, Carlisle and Esme

were having a pretty heated discussion about me. I hid in the shadows and listened. "Carlisle", whispered

Esme harshly, "she has every right to know-who she is, who we are and what has happened to her. She

doesn't even know about you or Edward" Interesting, I thought. "Esme" Carlisle returned, "I do think

that Bella needs to have everything explained to her, in a controlled, deliberate manner. The one thing I

do not want her to know about is the relationship she had with me and Edward. Once she is back on her

feet with more memory intact, I want her to honestly see what she feels about us. I have to accept

that she may be attached to only one or even neither one of us." "That is very noble, Carlisle",

Esme said quite sincerely, "I am not sure I could risk losing Tanya under similar circumstances"

This hit me like a bombshell. I did have suspicions that Carlisle had feelings for me, but with Edward

it was not so clear because he took off when the going got rough. I wasn't so sure I did want

romantic feelings towards him, but my gut told me that it would not be a choice, the feelings

would be there, or not. Rosalie and Alice were walking up the stairs, but thankfully they didn't

notice my eavesdropping. "Come on, Bella, let's get you to bed" the two sweet women said.

People in this house were always referring to each other by names like sister, brother, mother,

or father, but as far as I could tell no one looked vaguely alike, and no one looked old enough to

be anyone else's mother or father. They shuttled me into my room, a gorgeous room with a

canopy bed done in mostly lavender colors. I looked better than I had in a while, I absent

-mindedly noted while walking past a mirror. They left after helping me get ready and tucked

into bed. Everyone here treated me like a China doll, and I was getting a little frustrated by that.

Just as I was beginning to doze off, there was a light knock on the door and Carlisle walked in.

Wow, I thought, this is one good looking man, I could watch him for hours. His clothing was

form fitting enough to show off all his impressive muscles, but not tight enough to look cheesy.

"May I speak with you, Bella?" he ventured softly," I have a lot to tell you that I think you need

to know. I've held most things back, because I have had patients under my care who have lost

their memories, and if they get flooded with too much information, it can cause trauma."

For some reason, and I was not sure if it was to show him that I was not completely

stupid-I wanted to rattle off my observations first. I felt safe enough to let my words loose.

"Carlisle, you all have been very kind to me so far. This is one of the strangest places I can

imagine, and I know that I have been to plenty of other places. As far as I can tell, you all are

vampires, and this is an open lifestyle in the broadest sense. No one hear eats or

sleeps, you all move like lightning, you are freezing cold to the touch, you beat each other up

with no injuries, and although I am not entirely sure what happened, I have distinct bite

marks on me. I have a feeling that you and I are close in some way, but I haven't quite pinned it

down, and I think I have a family, and they are certainly not here. While we're at it, I do think

I am in some sort of danger and you are trying to protect me and you are considering "changing

me", whatever that means" With that, Carlisle lowered his head and chuckled softly, a beautiful

light sound, and levity that I hadn't seen in him before. "Bella, Bella, you are

so perceptive. You may have lost your memory, but you are so extremely bright" he smiled. I

interrupted, "While I have your attention", I continued, "what if anything was going on between

us before I lost my memory?" "I was trying to avoid that topic to be honest", he said looking

wistfully, "All I can tell you is that I was and still am deeply in love with you. I am sorry to

shock you with that, but you asked. I have no delusions that you'll ever feel the same for me"

"I did feel love for you, didn't I? " I asked softly, "because I get a funny feeling when I am

around you, and I feel what I think is jealousy when I see you with Esme." There was an almost

imperceptible look of hope on Carlisle's face. "I'll keep my distance as much as I can, as much

as I wish I didn't have to" he said "until you figure out what you feel for me now." " What I am

about to say is going to sound weird", I said. Carlisle looked intrigued and looked at me intently:

"Try me." "Funny enough, that's what I'm asking for", I said, "I remember hearing that scent has

a strong association with memory. "Could I smell you?" Carlisle looked startled, and moved

closer. He came within inches of my face and stopped, and I noticed a distinct change in his

breathing. He is nervous, I thought, and I knew I should be too. I moved in and buried my head

into the nape of his neck, just under his magnificent gold hair, and breathed in deeply. What a

shock. It was as though I had been electrified, and I felt it all through my body, and I mean _all _

_through._ I lingered there for a few moments enjoying his fabulous scent. I couldn't get enough.

It felt purely entoxicating. I worked up all my courage, and moved my face closer to his, closed

my eyes, and gently placed my lips on his. Wow, more electricity! Even though he didn't

respond, I gently explored his lips with mine and trailed down his neck with small kisses.

I stopped "I am so sorry –I don't know what got into me!" "Bella, I certainly don't mind,

_far, far_ from that, but it's really important to me that you take it slow and figure out what

it is you feel for me" That all made great sense to me, but right now, I had to admit that

what I was feeling was a need for him to absolutely ravish me. He was an absolute sex

god, and he made me feel vibrant and alive for the first time, in, well, I could remember.

"I also have to ask, sorry, about Edward. It sounds like I was involved with him as well?"

I was sorry to ask because it felt so perfect here with just Carlisle. "I want Edward to tell

you himself about his feelings for you. Unfortunately he isn't here to do so. I can

certainly tell you that there was strong feelings between the two of you, but any more I

can't say. I have to go now, Bella, my feelings for you are so strong that I can't stay without

wanting to make love to you. I felt like telling him to stay and do what he wanted to

me, but I thought better of it. I still needed to straighten out my head. Carlisle left and I heard

him calling Jasper and Eleazar. What was he up to? "I think that Bree is still exerting mind

control over Bella. I just spoke with Bella, and even though I think she is starting to get some

vague memories back, she has no recollection of Bree biting her or my saving her life. Bella

should remember that. We either need to banish Bree, which I'd like to avoid, or we need to

break Bree's control. Eleazar, I remember you referring to Bella as a human shield, and we may

be able to use that power to help Bella with her memory. With any luck, she may even get

total memory back". Oh boy, and the next thing I heard Carlisle say was: "Edward, is that you?"


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own Twilight characters obviously-otherwise I'd be driving a better car. Please review! **

**Thanks for the sweet reviews-you know who you are: **_**LL, ITINT, GTE**_

_**We either need to banish Bree, which I'd like to avoid, or we need tobreakBree's control**_

_**in some other way. Eleazar, I remember you referring to Bella as a human shield, and we **_

_**maybe able to use that power to help Bella with her memory. With any luck, she may even **_

_**get total memory back". Oh boy, and the next thing I heard Carlisle say was: "Edward, is **_

_**that you?"**_

CPOV:

Eleazar graciously left the room to allow us to speak. "Edward. I have to be plain with you. If

you ever, ever do anything to endanger Bella's well-being again or escape when she needs you; I

will do everything in my power to keep you out of Bella's life. You know that I pride myself

with my tolerant philosophy. Although I love you more than you can imagine, you have acted

out of fear and selfishness and it's time for you to act your age".(The irony of my last comment

was not lost on me-did I expect him to act over 100 years old?) Edward hung his head low and

raked his hair nervously. I couldn't help feel his tortured remorse but Bella's well-being was

much more important to me now. "Carlisle, I don't expect you to accept me at face value, but

I'm here to stay. Please update me on Bella's condition" he murmured.

"Well, Edward, your ill planned trick with Bree seems to have erased all Bella's memories. It

seems as though Bree is still playing with Bella's mind because Bella completely forgot that

Bree bit her. I think her actions are innocent, that she simply wants to be accepted by all of us.

From what she has told us, she has experienced nothing but terror and heartache in her life. I

don't blame her for this. You are to blame." Edward flinched at my words. He knew that I was

telling the truth. I also realized that my mind had drifted to my latest interaction with Bella, in

which it was clear that she may have deeply buried feelings of some sort for me still. I knew that

Edward "heard" this because he looked at me with an injured look on his face. He turned his

gaze to the floor again. "Well, I see that she doesn't remember her feelings for me as strongly"

"Jasper and Alice are going to drive Bree to Washington. We will check in with them

periodically to see if the hold that Bree has over Bella will dissipate with distance. I'm fairly

confident that will work. We will need to train Bree how to control her power before she

returns." I said that I was confident, but I secretly had my doubts. "Sounds like a plan" said

Jasper, entering the room. "Edward. I'd say it's good to see you, but right now I'd be lying. You

need to check yourself before you wreck yourself as they say" "Jasper! Alice cautioned, "Please,

Edward is your brother. Try to be nice. You know better than anyone that we have to act

like a team now." OK, OK", said Jasper, shooting one more poison look at Edward. Jasper

went to get Bree from Eleazar. She looked pathetic and scared, much like she did when we

first met her. Her eyes darted from vampire to vampire. It was clear that she still had

no idea what her role, if any, was in the coven. I could tell she wanted to belong. I thought

I noticed one other thing about her as well. She looked at Edward in a very odd, longing

manner. I had heard the sad story about the loss of her friend Diego, and I figured she was

looking for a strong male replacement. There was something very strange, almost hungry

in that look. Jasper and Alice took Bree by the arm and led her into our black Mercedes. "We'll

be in touch" Alice said breezily. The car screeched off into the night. "Can I please see Bella

now?" Edward begged. "Of course, she is upstairs with Esme. Bella trusts Esme implicitly.

Be prepared. She won't know you. It will be difficult for you. Do not frighten her." I moved off

to the study while Edward headed up. I wanted to distract myself with books. I was a confident

vampire, and I was sure that once Bella regained her memory she would love me as before. I had

a nagging doubt about her feelings for Edward. What would happen if she loved him no more?

What would happen if she loved him more than me? I shook my head as though I was trying to

shake away these pathetic ideas. What had I become? I was acting like an immature human

teenager. Even as I thought about her I got aroused like a teenager. Finally I couldn't take it

anymore and my famous resolve broke. I started up the stairs pretending to need something in

my quarters. I trudged up the spiral stairs at a pace slow even for human. At the top of the stairs

I found a confused looking Edward. e HhhhhhHe was pinching the top of his nose, a typical Edward stress

tick. "Edward?" I asked. He looked a bit dazed like he wasn't sure what he was doing. "Carlisle,

I think I need to check in on what's happening with Bree. I'll catch up with Bella later."

and with that he hurried back down the stairs. I was stunned by his actions and had no idea

what he was thinking. Was he panicked about what Bella's reaction to him would be? There

seemed to be more but I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought about following him downstairs,

but my need to see Bella was much too strong. I had promised myself to put some distance

between Bella and myself. I needed her to heal and sort out her feelings on her own, otherwise

we would be living a lie. I had to put my feelings for her aside and be selfless. That was

something I thought I could do after centuries of experience. As I was passing by the closed

door of Bella's room, I paused. There was a TV on in the room and pretty odd sounds coming

from the TV. I was extremely curious, so curious that I broke my rule and knocked on her door.

I didn't hear a response, so I quietly opened the door. What I witnessed surprised me greatly.

Bella had her back faced to the door and was curled up on a chair watching something, and was

completely engrossed. Bella was watching an adult movie! Much to my consternation, the very

sight aroused me completely, and the evidence was quite noticeable. Before I could make a quick

exit, Bella sensed my presence and turned around quickly. Her face flushed a vibrant red and I

could swear she noticed my painfully obvious arousal. "I am so sorry, so embarrassed", she

faltered, "I've been watching as much TV as possible to try and get my memory back." With that

she hung her beautiful head low and her soft, chestnut hair cascaded over her face. I still could

sense her flush, and felt that she was as aroused as I was. How I wished I knew that the flush and

arousal had something to do with me and not purely for "getting caught" watching porn. "Bella, I

understand completely, you are trying to experience as many human experiences as you are able.

"You are doing your homework." I said in a low tone. She laughed quietly, and awkwardly, but

didn't turn off the graphic scenes behind her. I really didn't like or understand the fascination

with porn, but in this setting, it was highly sensual. She surprised me "Carlisle, is this something

we did together in the past?" Bella seemed surer of herself than last we spoke, and it was taking

every fiber in my body not to ravish her. "Well, yes and no" I cleared my throat "The images you

are seeing of sex and intercourse, yes we did that together", I nodded to the TV. "The major

difference, though, is that we made love, so we never had sex in that sense, we made love to one

another-and the two cannot be confused." Bella seemed to take the information in, but surprised

me by blurting out : "What they are doing on TV, well, could you do that to me?" I think she

regretted the question as soon as she asked it. By this point I thought I'd explode (so much for

my legendary self-control). "No Bella, my dear, I won't have sex with you, because that's all it

would be to you if you are no longer in love with me." I could sense that she felt rejected and

also very needy. Oh, how easy it would be to remove the clothing from her flushed body and to

give her an earth shattering orgasm. I would then release my control over to her and to let

her pleasure me. I backed out of the room reluctantly, hoping against hope that she wouldn't

realize how much I wanted her. "I can feel that you are sexually frustrated right now,

and I'll send Esme in to discuss that. Please don't take my refusal to have intercourse

with you as a rejection." I hurriedly left the room, and once I cleared the door, I put my hand on

my aching, aroused member. I quickly headed to the bathroom to take matters into my own

hands, to help me to not break my resolve, and turn back to methodically make

love to my Bella. I moved quickly to the bathroom and took a very, very long shower. I could not

get the image of a nude Bella standing in front of me allowing me to kiss every inch of her body

out of my head. Stop, Carlisle, Stop, I thought, this is insanity-I may never get her back. I was

consumed with a feeling of dread when I pictured a life without her as my mate.

BPOV:

Oh, I felt like I just wanted to melt into the couch with humiliation. Not only was I caught

watching completely embarrassing TV, but I literally threw myself at Carlisle. It was clear to me

that he wasn't interested as evidenced by his rejection, but I know what I saw happening in his

pants and although I couldn't remember having sex before, I was pretty sure he was as worked

up as I was. Why didn't he want me though? I was not sure I believed the whole sex vs. love

argument, it seemed pretty simple on TV. It looked like men were always ready to go, but

Carlisle was a vampire, which changed all assumptions. I heard a knock and the beautiful Esme

came in. "Bella, honey, I need to talk to you about certain, ummh, matters. Carlisle filled me in

on what happened earlier tonight." (Ugghh, if I could die of embarrassment this would be the end

of me). What you are feeling is totally normal. It is even more appropriate because you

were..are..Carlisle's mate. I think he is making a very wise decision to take things slowly.

"Esme, I asked softly, is it really over for you two?" Esme spent the next half an hour or so

explaining past family history. "What role does Edward play in all of this? I think I have or did

have feelings for him, but he is so distant" I continued. "Edward is an enigma to me Bella. You

were his first mate and you two were meant for one another. He made a stupid mistake that left a

lot of destruction in his path. He did make it possible for you to realize your love for Carlisle,

though. His actions are again proving to be ill thought out and erratic, but I know him, and he

will love you forever." Esme patiently answered all my questions about my "alternative living

arrangement" with Edward and Carlisle. She convinced me that the vampire world had its own

set of behaviors which differed from the human world, and that the two could not be compared,

and that I would have to go with my feelings. I was able to talk openly about my fears of loving

one of them more than the other. "Anyway" she said matter-of-factly, "I came here to explain

how you can make things easier for yourself while you figure things out." She explained how to

deal with the overwhelming feelings of desire I was having. Oh no! I thought. More

embarrassment! She showed me certain devices that I had seen on the program and explained

how they worked. She also reiterated that Carlisle did want me but that he was a very noble and

judicious vampire, and that his reasons for not making love to me didn't have anything to do

with rejection. Quite the opposite. Esme then breezily left the room. With a great deal of

embarrassment I used the device that Esme left me in the way I saw it used on the adult show.

Pretty soon I started to whimper with passion, and my body got flushed and wet. My back arced

up and I couldn't believe how great this felt, especially when I pictured Carlisle making love to

me (yes-I was now sure that we would be making love! I loved him!) Little did I know that

Carlisle was in the room next door and could hear my every whimper and could even smell my

arousal. He quietly moaned in exasperation and headed off into the shower again….I dashed out

of the room (to tell Carlisle about my revelation) so quickly that I slid my knee into the door jam

hard enough that it would leave a bruise. "Ouch" I complained loudly. Carlisle emerged

immediately from the bathroom looking alarmed. He was wearing only a small white towel

around his waist. His soft blonde hair was wet and slicked back. I was able to get a good look at

his body for the first time since having lost my memory. His features were so perfect, his most

unusual topaz eyes, long aquiline nose, full lips, long slender neck and oh my god what a chest!

He had completely ripped abs, and a smooth rock hard chest. What was really sexy were the

muscles that descended from his abs and continued in a V shape down to the towel and below. I

knew where those muscles led to and I wanted to see more. "Are you OK?" he asked with great

concern. "Your knee is swelling as we speak. I'll get you some ice. He looked down at his towel.

"Well, perhaps I should put something more on, though"( Agghhh I thought, no!) Before I could

protest he was off with lightning speed and he whizzed by me in a black t-shirt and black boxer

shorts. (Good, I thought, at least he isn't fully covered)

CPOV

What a mess, I thought. I can barely stop myself from touching Bella, and she doesn't

remember "us". I know that she is feeling sexually frustrated, but I can't be used for her

pleasure. (god, as much as I wanted to!) She will drive a centuries old man out of his mind at

this rate. If she could only remember! I went to get an ice pack out of the refrigerator. As I

did, I noted Edward standing off to the side of the room looking lost again. I was glad that he

didn't have to endure what I just did with Bella, but also wondered if he would have given in

to her proposal. I felt a little annoyed and jealous, irrationally so, to think what might have

happened between Edward and Bella upstairs. Before I could check in with Edward, Eleazar

came into the kitchen. "Carlisle" he said, (glancing oddly at Edward), Jasper, Alice and Bree are

now at least 300 miles away. They want to know whether Bella is regaining any memory yet?

"No", I responded, "nothing to report really."

"Should I tell them to keep going?" relayed Eleazar. "No" I think that we would have seen some

change in Bella's behavior if it were only a matter of distancing Bree" Carlisle said sadly, "We

will have to come up with some other solution. Have them drive back." I heard Edward breathe a

sigh of relief, and even though my mind was fully trained on Bella, I thought he was acting

extremely oddly. "What is the ice pack for?" enquired Edward apathetically. I explained; "Bella

has gotten a nasty bruise on her knee. I think you should come up and comfort her. She really is

confused about your relationship with her" I was shocked with his response "well, she still is the

same old clumsy human, that hasn't changed" "Edward-what are you saying? You sound so

callous. She is your mate as well. What is wrong with you?" I asked impatiently.

"Nothing Carlisle", Edward said "My head is killing me. I don't remember having a headache

since my change. I just want to make sure that Bree.., I mean that Alice and Jasper get back OK"

Something was up with Edward. I couldn't place it. I think the stress was overwhelming him,

but I had to deal with that later. I rushed back to Bella's side. I hadn't noticed that Bella had

sustained a gash on her knee as well. I grabbed the towel I had been wearing to mop up the

blood. As we all knew, spilled human blood in the house was not a good idea. "Ouch" she

said quietly as I dabbed the wound clean. I was too engrossed in my task to notice that her

tiny frail hand had taken my chin and was moving my head up in order that she could look

me in the eye. "Carlisle" she said, with a single tear streaming down her face "I love you. I

remember you. I remember us." I stood up and stepped back, stunned. "Do you really? Are you

sure?" "Let me show you" she sobbed quietly. She moved in and cautiously moved my chin

toward hers. I followed her lead willingly. She gave me the most tender, most exquisite kiss that

I had ever experienced in all my centuries on this world. I lifted her high in the air so that we

could stare directly into one another's eyes. I rested my chin on her head and kissed her forehead

deeply before moving my lips down to meet hers. We kissed even more passionately than I

remembered and her scent was so heady that if I had a beating heart it would have stopped. She

returned each kiss with equal passion and I knew I had her back again.

BPOV

This was so amazing. Nothing had ever felt so right. Carlisle loved me as passionately as I

loved him. As we kissed my head began to spin and I felt like I was on drugs (although I

had never taken drugs) All around my head images were swirling, my parents kind faces,

the kids at school, my dear friend Alice, my house, the Cullen house, the vampire sparkle,

piano music, cello music. It was so vivid and suddenly I felt no more-I had fainted.

When I awoke my head was on a stone hard surface-Carlisle's lap! He stroked my hair,

removing stray tendrils from my face. He looked down with so much love and devotion in his

eyes that I teared up. Esme was in the room and she was simply beaming. "Bella. You are

back with us. We missed you terribly."

CPOV

I was so blissfully happy but I knew that I had to share the news with others quickly,

especially Edward. "Bella, please stay on the couch. You may still be dizzy. I'll be right

back" I said all these things, but I frankly wanted to keep the news to myself and wisk

Bella away somewhere far away from here. In good time, I told myself, have patience.

I left Esme upstairs to keep an eye on Bella and to monitor whether Bella would suffer

any memory loss as Bree got closer. "Everyone" I said triumphantly as I got downstairs

"Bella has regained her memory." Everyone was tremendously relieved. Even Rosalie,

who would see this as a setback in her plan to keep Bella human. I turned to Edward to

see his reaction and was again stunned. He was barely paying attention and was

seemingly preoccupied with something else. He kept a look on the garage door at all times.

I shot a look at Eleazar and motioned to him with my head that we should meet in the study

nearby. "This is wonderful news, Carlisle. I am so happy that no permanent damage was done to

Bella", Eleazar said softly. "Eleazar, did you happen to notice Edward? He is paying no

attention to Bella whatsoever. It's not natural. Also, Bella hasn't asked for him lately either.

What do you make of this?"

"Carlisle", Eleazar said urgently, "what if Bree is still exerting mind control? Did you notice the

way she looked at Edward? I thought it looked like the beginning of a crush, and didn't make

much of it. Edward has always been coveted by females because of his looks and intelligence"

"So you think that Bree is blocking Edward's memories of Bella, and perhaps doing

the same to Bella? She could have been working on blocking the two of them so that

she would have a chance with Edward. She may be as strong, or even stronger than you

anticipated, Eleazar. She may have the power to make Edward need her. I do think she

has her limits, because I think she lost her ability to block Bella's memory while trying so hard

to hold onto Edward. She is an impulsive teen, and I think she is trying to manipulate too

much, and too many people at once. She sporadically loses her control."

"Carlisle, I am worried about Bree's tremendous powers. She will be hard to control. Her power

will be in incredible demand with the Volturi". Just as Eleazar and Carlisle were finishing their

conversation, the garage door opened. I heard Edward rush out and yell "Bree!" As I returned to

the kitchen I watched aghast as he scooped up Bree in his arms in a big bear hug. I couldn't help

notice the look of triumph on her face as she looked me straight in the eye.

_**Da, da, dum**_

_**Will Bree's control break down? Will Edward and Bella be reunited? Will the Volturi stop**_

_**in? Will I throw in a lemon in the next chapter? Let me know if you'd like a lemon or**_

_**if you are enjoying the diluted lemonade. Thanks for reading.**__**e**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Apologies for the delay. I am having major writers block! Disclaimer: I have no idea **

**whether this is a decent chapter-any reviews appreciated and if you have any ideas**

**about where you'd like to see the story go please let me know. It feels a little like I**

**may have hit the end of the road!**

_**"Carlisle, I am worried ab**_**ou**_**t Bree's tremendous powers. She will be hard to control. Her power will be in incredible demand with the Volturi". Just as Eleazar and Carlisle were finishing their conversation, the garage door opened. I heard Edward rush out and yell "Bree!" As I returned to the kitchen I watched aghast as he scooped up Bree in his arms in a big bear hug. I couldn't help notice the look of triumph on her face as she looked me straight in the eye.**_

Alice and Jasper were quick to follow after Bree. Eleazar gave me a knowing look. Based on

our recent conversation, we were quick to realize that Bree had a massive crush on Edward

and she was managing to convince Edward that he was not in love with Bella. Bree was too

young and inexperienced to know what true love meant, but she was old enough to have a

deep crush. I knew that she would have sex with Edward if he were to ask. She may likely

regret it afterward, but right now she didn't see that. I could tell just by looking at her that she

was heady with the power that she exerted over Edward, and felt that even if she

relinquished her hold on him (which was only a matter of time) that he would likely still love

her in return. I don't think that she had the slightest inkling that Edward was mated to Bella

forever. I had to say that I felt bad for her. She was only 15, had be turned against her will,

with no education or warnings of what becoming a newborn entailed. Her only friend and first

real crush, Diego, had been killed by his creator. Edward must have felt threatened and

perceived us as a threat because he pulled Bree behind him. He must have has some left over

memory of protecting Bella, because Bree certainly didn't need protection. As a

newborn, she could likely take on any one of us. "Edward", Alice pleaded, "Bree has control

over your mind, you have to believe us.

You do remember what she did to Bella? Think about it" Edward looked a bit baffled and

looked over at me questioningly. "Carlisle?" he asked, sounding like a little boy. "Yes,

Edward, you are not of your right mind. Bree is controlling you. She has great affection for

you". Edward looked at me and snarled "You have never wanted me to be happy. All these

decades, lonely, watching all of you ( he surveyed the audience) with your mates. I have ignored

women along the way (I knew he was referring to Tanya) and now that I've found someone

compatible, he said nodding back to Bree, you are in my way. Jealous are you?"

I didn't take any of this to heart. He was literally not in his right mind. Tanya, on the other

hand, who just joined the group, snarled when she heard Edward's reference to " ignoring

other women" I found Edward's use of the word "compatible" by when talking about Bree

very interesting. It was not the word that people used when they were in love. Even with that

lukewarm word, Edward had paused. I had the impression that Bree was getting scared and was

having trouble keeping her hold over Edward. I felt sure that we could release her hold

somehow. In the meantime I was having a hard time not being revolted by Edward fawning over

Bree. I glanced at Alice, who was in one of her trances. I could tell that Alice was more worried

than usual by what she saw. I needed to talk to her in private. I walked into the study and Alice

followed. "Alice, what are we facing here?" "It's not good. The Volturi feel that we are

dangerous as a family for keeping Bree with us, and they know that Bella is still alive. They

know she lost her memory, although I have no idea how they know. They will be annoyed that

we haven't changed Bella, but what makes this worse is that if they believe that she has forgotten

about her relationship with Edward, they may not feel she has a purpose in staying with us. They

will perceive her as a liability." Alice was sounding a bit frantic by now. "Can you see how my

relationship Bella will alter their opinion? Will it make it more or less likely that they destroy

her? I asked, with a growing sense of worry. When the Volturi made up their minds there will be

no room for change and nowhere to hide. "I can't see very clearly, Carlisle. They have heard of

Bella's potential powers, and that could bode well for her, but they may insist she come back to

Italy with her. If she regains her full memory and resumes the relationship with Edward, that

may be the best situation. If they know about the three of you, and if it's the first time

they hear about this "type" of relationship, they may act out of petulance of being left out of the

loop. And honestly they may be angered about your involvement with Bella. You didn't leave

under the best circumstances with them. They valued you and felt you were criticizing their

eating choice. Your relationship with Bella may further alienate you. They tolerated Edward's

relationship with Bella because they were able to chalk it up to Edward's immaturity. It was not

a threat to them. You are quite different because of your age and experience level. There are too

many variables here, I am lost."

APOV

I never intentionally sugar coated the truth for Carlisle. I saw an expression on his face which I

hadn't seen before and it scared me.. I had seen the expression on Edward's face before; this

longing, desperation and resolve. This was not quiet, confident Carlisle any more.

I had horrible visions. One was very clear, Carlisle's shirt had been stripped away, and he was

held in a headlock by Felix, and I could hear the sickening crack.. I couldn't bear it. Oddly I

didn't see anything as gruesome for Edward. I saw him living with the Volturi, with eyes as

blood red as I could ever imagine. I couldn't see any future for Bree at all. What if Bree was

obscuring my ability to see into the future? I couldn't help myself-I was really starting to

dislike Bree. Our conversation was interrupted when Bella bounded down the stairs.

CPOV

"Bella" I cautioned protectively. Her discovery of her love for me was still so fresh to me that

seeing her took my breath away. Her soft brown hair was tousled from our kiss. She still had a

flush on her face from our interaction. Never in all my years had I seen such a beautiful woman,

so delicate, so fragile physically but so incredibly powerful in spirit. Selfishly, although I knew

she would lose a lot when she was changed, I could hardly wait to begin an

eternity with my love. I suddenly felt dread that she would be coming closer to Bree again and

that she could lose her memory again (and thus her memory of me) Something else caused me

great discomfort as well. For the first time since our life with Edward as her lover, I wanted her

to pick me alone. I thought I had accepted the life that Bella, Edward and I had formed. I would

still accept any decision she would now make. Bella entered the kitchen and was clearly

confused and startled by the situation. She especially focused on Bree and Edward. Bree was

clearly under stress and her eyes were dark with hunger. "Jasper, Alice, why is Bree suffering

from hunger? Surely you had time for her to feed?" Alice responded with some irritation "We

weren't treating her cruelly, Carlisle, if that's what you're getting at. She simply refuses to

accept our vegetarianism, and I can't allow her to feed on humans." "Understood" I said. Alice

looked rumpled and tired for the first time. Jasper was right at her side, holding her hand and

using his powers to calm her. I turned to Bella quickly to see what her state of mind was.

I was elated when she strode over to me and took my hand. She hadn't forgotten about me.

I reflexively stood in front of her to shield her from Bree. The tension in the room was palpable.

Eleazar was intently looking at Bree, Bella and Edward. No one seemed to be able to make sense

of the situation or predict what would happen next. Bella was looking at Bree and Edward and

clutched her hand to her forehead. "Bella, what is wrong? Would someone please get Bree out of

here?" One thing I was sure of is that Bree was still actively manipulating the situation. Edward

staggered a little and was pinching the top of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. There

was a sharp intake of breath from everyone as Bree dropped to her knees, hung her head and

clutched it. The situation became clear to me. Bree was overwhelmed with the task of trying to

control the memories of Bella and Edward, and she was clearly losing the battle. "Bella?"

Edward asked unsteadily. He left Bree's side and moved towards Bella. Bella emerged from her

place behind my back. "Edward-what..?" They met in the middle of the room. Edward lifted her

off the ground and spun her around before planting a kiss on her forehead. Bella looked confused

and looked back at me in a silent plea for an explanation. Edward's brow furrowed as he realized

that she wasn't hugging him back. Not resisting, but not returning the emotion. He returned

Bella to her feet and looked at each of us questioningly. "Bella, my love, why aren't you

responding to me? You clearly remember Carlisle". Edward shot a betrayed look at me.

BPOV

When I heard the commotion I ran down the stairs. I focused immediately on Carlisle. What a

magnificent god. I was very perturbed that I couldn't continue my conversation with Carlisle. I

wanted to sing out my love for him. After feeling lost for so long, I was joyously reunited with

my beautiful Carlisle. I had family and I was finally putting the pieces of my connections with

them together. My musings were interrupted when I saw how many vampires were gathered in

the room. Carlisle gave me the most loving look I could imagine, and lowered his golden amber

eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was overwhelmed with emotion. He pulled me

protectively behind him, and I was sure that the situation was pretty grave. I now

saw the center of everyone's attention-Bree and Edward. I was flooded with emotion-

a strong dislike of Bree. For Edward I felt something totally different. It hit me

like a ton of bricks-he was dazzlingly handsome. His eyes were amber like Carlisle's, yet

a bit darker. His hair was an unusual copper color and it was charmingly going in multiple

directions. In general he was more slight and youthful than Carlisle. Handsome for sure, but

although I was starting to feel more and remember more, I was so confused. It didn't

help that I was developing a searing headache, one of the worst I could remember.

When Edward called my name I responded instinctively and moved from Carlisle's

protective hold and approached Edward. He drew me into his arms. Although I was

definitely attracted to him, I couldn't process everything, and I felt that I was hurting

Carlisle. Edward was clearly devastated that I wasn't returning the emotion. His hurt

tore at me and in a way that was very intense-too intense for mere friendship. I pulled away too

soon and the look on his face was heart breaking. Eleazar broke the awkward silence "Jasper,

Alice, please keep Bree here, I need to speak with Carlisle and Bella. Edward stepped forward

but Eleazar cautioned "Edward, we need some time to decide on a plan of action, and right now

you are complicating the situation" Edward continued after us protesting that anything which

involved Bella involved him. Alice swiftly took his arm and they had one of their wordless

conversations. I could see him relax his shoulders and stop. The three of us headed upstairs to the

study. I noted the damp towel Carlisle had worn earlier, and tossed to the ground. I couldn't wait

to see his sexy body again-but that would have to wait. Eleazar had clearly taken control not only

because he was brilliant at tactical matters, but he was also able to see the powers that other's

possessed, even if they were unaware of them.

"Bella, I am going to have to ask you to try out your powers. It may not be the safest or pleasant

experience" I sensed that Eleazar was worried for my well-being and Carlisle was getting

unhinged. "Kate, as you may know, has the power to hurt others. She is able to project a tazor-

like ray which paralyzes her victim. One of the Volturi, Jane, has a similar power, but I believe

that Kate is more powerful." "Eleazar, clearly there must be an easier way" Carlisle said softly,

his lips set in a grim line. "Are you sure that this is necessary?

"Yes-and I know you see the necessity. Bella needs to use her powers and soon. She must be

able to block Bree, and she may need her power for the Volturi visit. We have to be ready for

anything. Alice bounded upstairs to meet us. "Good news. The Volturi visit has been put off by

two days. "Fabulous, said Eleazar in his lilting Spanish accent, we need that time for training"

Kate came out of one of the rooms to greet us. As with all the vampires she was hauntingly

beautiful, with hair as fine and blonde as corn silk. She had been informed about the plan.

"Bella, I am not sure I can do this to you. I have never used my power on someone I care about"

I felt the inner strength that had been growing in me all these months. "Kate, please don't be

upset. This is all for a good purpose. I would never feel angry towards you" I glanced at Carlisle

and he had a look on his face of pride and awe. I prepared myself. "Bella" explained Eleazar,

"Kate has the power to shock and temporarily paralyze anyone she touches. It is key that

you try and repel her. We know that you can keep Edward from reading your mind, so it's

reasonable to think that you may be able to block Kate. I am not sure how you'll accomplish

this, but I think you can do it. "Walk towards Kate" Eleazar sounded confident so I

ventured forward. Kate squared her shoulders nervously and approached me. When

she placed her arm on mine, I felt like a bolt of lightning went through me and

I flew backwards, hitting my head solidly on the wall. I laid there, stunned, for a

moment. I realized with horror that I was bleeding from my mouth and nose. "Bella!"

yelled the three vampires. I tucked my face to my knees, because I knew that

it would be hard for Kate and Eleazar to smell my blood. Carlisle was over to my side in

a flash. He tilted my face up to look for damage and grabbed a towel to stem the blood

from my face. "We can't continue with this", pleaded Carlisle, "I can't stand to see

her take such a beating" "Carlisle, you know this is a much better situation than if she were to

encounter Jane without training" Eleazar turned to face me. "Bella, you'll have to tell us when

you've had enough" "No way!" I said and jokingly beckoned Kate "bring it, Kate" My humor

broke the tension in the room, but to be honest I felt kind of broken. We tried the same exercise

three more times, with the same result, I was catapulted to the wall each time. My nose was

bloodied, and I had a feeling that one of my toes was broken. Carlisle came to my side and

buddy-splinted my toe. The last crash was the worst, and I dislocated my elbow. I couldn't help

myself and yelped in pain. Carlisle had a grim look on his face as he deftly put my elbow back in

place. I was happy that he didn't warn me that putting the elbow back in the socket would hurt

more than the injury. The look on his face gave away that he was tortured by my injuries and I

could tell that he was pretty close to ordering Kate to stop. Kate would have been so relieved to

stop, she was a gentle vampire and this was "killing" her. I struggled to my feet and felt a strong

sense of resolve, and I was getting angry. Eleazar encouraged me "Use the anger

and frustration, channel it through your body and repel Kate. Try harder you are not as weak as

you look. " That really made me surly and when Kate came at me, I turned all my energy

toward her. This time Kate flew across the floor. I had successfully not only repelled her,

but I used her energy against her. My first reaction was to yell "I'm so sorry" to her.

This made Kate giggle and the other vampires smile. Eleazar was very pleased.

"You have done better than expected, my dear. Now we need to repeat this until we're sure

you've got it" I soon had control over my power and was damn proud of myself.

I was exhausted and sore after my training with Kate. I was achy all over and just wanted to curl

up in ball. As soon as no one was focused on me, I padded quietly into my room. I needed

to get my wits about me in case we were not done for the night. I was thankful for Alice yet

again. The drawers in my room were stocked full of clothes, and not all were frilly and

fanciful. I selected a blue tank top and boy short combination and stumbled into the

bathroom. The bathtub in this huge room looked so inviting that I decided to treat

myself. The room was modern and minimalist. The entire surface was covered either by mirror

or what looked to be hand-made sea blue tile. There was certainly no privacy here. The tub was

at the top of a couple of steps and was lovely, oval and deep. Surrounding the tub were exotic sea

salts and bath oils, no doubt brought from foreign destinations. I sighed and grabbed one of the

plush white towels and a white terry robe from the closet and disrobed on the way to the tub. I

filled tub with water and some delightful smelling lavender sea salts and bath bubbles. I shed my

clothes and slipped into the inviting water. I laid my head back and slid under the water.

Although I was incredibly comfortable and my pain was subsiding, I became overwhelmed with

all the tension of the last few days. Tears rolled freely down my face. I was trying

really hard not to sob, because I was aware that everyone in this house had superhuman

hearing. The last thing I wanted was to discuss my feelings and have anyone pity

me. So my shoulders heaved as I silently sobbed. Damn it, I just couldn't stop.

Someone entered the room and I reflexively covered myself. Before he had time to

announce himself, I saw Carlisle's reflection in one of the mirrors. I knew that I wouldn't have

luck pretending I was asleep. Carlisle wordlessly came up the steps and sat on the edge of the

tub. He gently held my chin and raised my face. "Bella- you are crying. What have I done to

you?" He rubbed the tears from the corners of my eyes with his thumbs. "I love you so much

what have I done?" I looked him in the eye with unspoken forgiveness. His eyes were jet black

with torment and he hung his head low. I brought his head up. His hair was so soft and

the color was a fascinating blend of golden highlights. "This is necessary Carlisle, I understand.

None of this is your fault. I think you know who set this turmoil in motion" I knew that Carlisle

understood fully that I was referring to Edward, but I think neither of us were willing to talk

about it. "Bella, you never cease to amaze me with your courage and selflessness. You have

every right to want to run and hide from us, to blame us for every horrible thing you've been

through, but still you remain loyal to a fault and have no self-pity. It doesn't matter if you decide

to resume your relationship with Edward. I truly want the best for you.

I believed him with every fiber of my body. For all the virtues he saw in me, I saw

greater virtue in him. "Carlisle, I have given this a lot of thought. My memory loss is so odd to

me, it's like it's peppered with holes. I remember everything before meeting you perfectly. My

relationship with both you and Edward is really hazy, and I don't remember many details

which were not told to me by others. I am so lucky that my feelings for you are so strong,

even though I don't have detailed memories. One thing I've decided is that if you are

willing, I want to spend my life with you. I don't believe I wish to continue my relationship with

Edward. I know it will hurt him, but when I think of him, I have a sinking feeling that he

has hurt me more than once, and I can't take it. I don't have it in me to figure out what we

had, and I'd prefer at least for now to be away from him" Little did I know how this information

made Carlisle feel, because he gave away no feelings. He was elated about my decision.

"Please, Carlisle, join me in the tub." I could feel his body tighten up with my suggestion.

He gently leaned forward and pressed his cool lips against mine. "No, my love. You may

not understand. You have no past recollection of our lovemaking, and I want us to take things

very slowly", Carlisle whispered while stroking my hair absentmindedly.

"Carlisle, I can't believe what you're saying. I understood your point of view when I had no

memories of you. Now all I know is that I am mad crazy in love with you and you'll barely

touch me. I need you so badly, to kiss you, to touch you and to feel you deep inside me."

I began sobbing again, mostly out of fatigue and frustration. "Oh Bella, I want you so badly, you

can't imagine. We need to go slowly, but we certainly don't need to stop. Let's get to know each

other again" I couldn't help noting that his hungry black eyes were running down my body. He

grabbed a sponge, and began gently cleaning me. I felt the old familiar burn all over my body,

and even though I was submerged, I knew that Carlisle could sense my arousal all too well. He

lovingly, sensually caressed my skin with the sponge-(oh for the sponge to be his hands instead ..

He started with my neck and dropped the sponge to knead out the knots. His hands were

firm and I could tell what a fabulous doctor he was. I winced from

the pain. Carlisle pressed his lips to my neck. "I'm sorry" he said sadly. He picked up

the sponge again and continued a soapy path down my chest. I knew he was highly

aroused, and that his resolve could easily be worn down. I knew that it wasn't nice, but I

went to break his resolve. "Please, please come in with me. It will help me. I promise not to

push. (I was only half telling the truth) Carlisle let out a low hiss. "OK-no funny business

purely for medical reasons" I caught the way that his lips tightened as a small smirk

appeared. He stood up and pulled the t shirt over his head. Oh lord, how will I manage to

respect his wishes? Carlisle knew the effect that the sight of his broad muscular chest was having

on me. He kept his eyes locked to mine as he unbuckled his jeans and slowly pulled them down.

I could have screamed with frustration when I realized he was going to leave his

boxers on. I had no recollection of his naked body and I wanted to see it. He slowly slipped

into the water next to me. It was a large tub, so he was able to keep some space between us.

I was having none of that. I pulled myself to him. He picked up where he left off, sponging

me down. He focused on my neck. He spent time working on my back, trying to ease the pain

that he correctly guessed was there. He then began a path down, stopping at my chest,

massaging each breast carefully, and I was sure he noted that my nipples were fully

hardened. Carlisle continued down my torso, my belly button, pausing before proceeding further

down. He looked deeply into my eyes, nearly crazed with passion. I took advantage and moved

his hands further down. He attempted weakly to stop my aggressive move. "No, I told you" he

muttered "Not yet" and pulled away from my throbbing center. "Please" I begged "Please" He

relented a little and turned to give me a quick kiss. I managed to grab a handful of his sleek

blonde hair, in an attempt to deepen the kiss. Carlisle must have forgotten his intentions briefly

as he pulled my head closer and met my kisses with urgency-almost painful in their intensity.

Again I took advantage and moved his hand, free of the sponge he had dropped, to my nerve

center and started to rub against his cold hard hand vigorously. He pulled back a bit and I palmed

his erection at the same time. I was pleased that I was having this effect on him. All this friction

quickly brought me to my boiling point. With a couple of more rubs I felt myself climax, and

came so violently that I nearly drowned myself. My body was wracked with pleasure and I

climaxed multiple times. I thought that Carlisle would be really angry, but he chuckled softly as

he climbed out of the tub. "Vixen" he said lightly, but I knew that it took all his resolve not to

take me….

"You are such a tease" I joked with a fair amount of embarrassment. Poor Carlisle was left

In a state of arousal, but it was his fault anyway.


End file.
